Sunday, April 6, 2014

The road that led me to this beautiful life

I'm a big believer in the saying, "Everything happens for a reason."
I just can't believe otherwise.
I may not know why certain things happened in my life.
I may never know, but I just have to believe that...
Every place I've been,
Every step I've taken,
Every choice I've made,
Every thing in my life has happened for a reason, has had meaning in it.

There have been many things in my life that have changed me.
I've struggled with depression and causing harm to myself.
I've been in an abusive relationship.
Those are two of the hard things, the things that are still hard to deal with.
But there's good things in my life too.
One thing that's been really life changing for me is becoming a Christian.
Other things have been meeting my husband and having babies.
Those things have changed my life so much.
Some in ways I wish they hadn't.
Some in ways I'm glad they did.
But you know what?
I wouldn't say they are the biggest thing that changed my life.
I would say, however, that my parents getting divorced when I was about two years old did.

My dad and I on my wedding day.

My mom and I. 

Maybe that sounds silly to read because all those things I listed before, 
the good and the bad, they were so life changing. 
However, I'd say my parents getting divorced is the biggest life changing moment
because it led me down the road to all those other moments. 
If my parents wouldn't have gotten divorced...
Maybe I wouldn't have struggled with depression or maybe I would have,
but I know it was part of the reason I did struggle with that. 
Maybe I would have thought better of myself
and not put up with the crap some of the guys I dated.
Maybe I wouldn't have a relationship with Jesus. 
Maybe I wouldn't have gone to Tabor and maybe it wouldn't have been so hard.
Maybe I wouldn't have the friends I do have.
Maybe my life would have been worse than it has been.
Maybe I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband or had three beautiful kids.
Maybe my life wouldn't be what it is. 

I used to struggle so much with my parents being divorced. 
I think it caused me to make a lot of the choices I did. 
I know it caused me to be angry with my dad for a long time. 
I know it also was the reason I ended up in bad relationships
because I just didn't know any better.
You know what though? I'm not bitter about it. A lot of it still hurts. 
My relationship with my dad is rough.
My past relationships can still affect me life. 
But I don't regret the road I've been on, 
the road that started when my parents got divorced, 
because I fully believe it led me to this life I live now and it's a beautiful one. 

My good looking husband and I on our wedding day! 

I'm linking up with a fresh start on a budget for the April blogging challenge.

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