The road that led me to this beautiful life

I'm a big believer in the saying, "Everything happens for a reason."
I just can't believe otherwise.
I may not know why certain things happened in my life.
I may never know, but I just have to believe that...
Every place I've been,
Every step I've taken,
Every choice I've made,
Every thing in my life has happened for a reason, has had meaning in it.

There have been many things in my life that have changed me.
I've struggled with depression and causing harm to myself.
I've been in an abusive relationship.
Those are two of the hard things, the things that are still hard to deal with.
But there's good things in my life too.
One thing that's been really life changing for me is becoming a Christian.
Other things have been meeting my husband and having babies.
Those things have changed my life so much.
Some in ways I wish they hadn't.
Some in ways I'm glad they did.
But you know what?
I wouldn't say they are the biggest thing that changed my life.
I would say, however, that my parents getting divorced when I was about two years old did.

My dad and I on my wedding day.

My mom and I. 

Maybe that sounds silly to read because all those things I listed before, 

the good and the bad, they were so life changing. 

However, I'd say my parents getting divorced is the biggest life changing moment

because it led me down the road to all those other moments. 

If my parents wouldn't have gotten divorced...

Maybe I wouldn't have struggled with depression or maybe I would have,

but I know it was part of the reason I did struggle with that. 

Maybe I would have thought better of myself

and not put up with the crap some of the guys I dated.

Maybe I wouldn't have a relationship with Jesus. 

Maybe I wouldn't have gone to Tabor and maybe it wouldn't have been so hard.

Maybe I wouldn't have the friends I do have.

Maybe my life would have been worse than it has been.

Maybe I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband or had three beautiful kids.

Maybe my life wouldn't be what it is. 

I used to struggle so much with my parents being divorced. 

I think it caused me to make a lot of the choices I did. 

I know it caused me to be angry with my dad for a long time. 

I know it also was the reason I ended up in bad relationships

because I just didn't know any better.

You know what though? I'm not bitter about it. A lot of it still hurts. 

My relationship with my dad is rough.

My past relationships can still affect me life. 

But I don't regret the road I've been on, 

the road that started when my parents got divorced, 

because I fully believe it led me to this life I live now and it's a beautiful one. 

My good looking husband and I on our wedding day! 

I'm linking up with a fresh start on a budget for the April blogging challenge.

Thoughts on Sandusky

I'm watching Dr. Phil. I do this sometimes, even though most of the time it leaves me in tears.

Todays episode is no different. Its about Penn state and everything involving this case against Sandusky. I haven't been paying much attention to it...I've been trying not to because I know it'd just upset me terribly. But I'm watching this today because not only is Dr. Phil talking about whats going on there, but also about how to be aware of sexual abuse in children. I think as hard as it is, its important to be aware of such things. 

That's not what I want to write about though. I want to write about whats on my heart about this. 

I'm trying not to bawl my eyes out because this hurts me deeply. Watching this, I'm learning things. I'm learning that for 10 years this abuse went on, before it was reported to the police. People saw things happening...horrible things and no one did what the law says they are supposed to do. They were supposed to go not only to the school board or people above him, but they were supposed to go to the cops. They didn't though...not for 10 years. Oh, the boys who could have been saved if only someone had done what they were suppose to, if only they had done the right thing! This makes me angry. I'm angry at Sandusky, yes, but its hard to not be even more angry at those who saw these things and did nothing. We're suppose to protect our kids! If we, the adults, don't do the right thing....if we don't protect our children...who will? Nobody. That makes me sick. It makes me want to refuse to let my child do anything when he grows up. It makes me want to keep him by my side always. It makes me want to never let him out of my sight. 

I'm angry. I cannot deny it.

I'm angry that this keeps on happening.

It doesn't seem like anything is being done to stop such things.

It breaks my heart because that isn't suppose to happen.

Innocence was ripped from these children. 

Their going to have deep emotional problems for most likely the rest of their lives.

Things like this make me so thankful for the fact that I know God.

God knows why this happens and He is a healer.

Theres some comfort for me there, but its hard because this sin...because I am a mother...gets to me more than anything else. 

I am also thankful that God will deal with people like Sandusky.

He gives them grace, that many people, like myself, struggle in giving to them.

Dear God, please be in the midst of this scandal. I know You are. I do.

Be close to all these people that have been hurt. Some of the kids he caused harm to are more grown up and some are still so young. Draw close to them God. They need you.
Show them your love and give them your peace. Help this be dealt with in the right way. Let there be justice. Please let their be justice. Amen.