Today I want to write about something that has been on my heart for a while. I've been meaning to write it out, but for some reason, just haven't. I guess maybe because I'm a bit embarrassed by the truth, Or I don't want others to feel like I'm judging them.
Blogging has changed for me. I mean, its still about writing things out, still about sharing my heart.
There's one area I've noticed a change in...And its wanting. Wanting more things. I read a ton of blogs, so many that I cannot keep up with them all. I read lots of posts that are heartfelt, inspiring, encouraging, uplifting, but I also read posts about fashion, products, books, blog conferences.
And those posts... they leave me wanting things.
I hate that. I'm embarrassed by that.
I read blogs and at times come away wanting things I didn't know I wanted until I read that post.
I get on twitter and see tweets about things people just bought or want.
I see the same on pinterest and even facebook at times.
And all those posts leave me wanting more than I have.
They leave me feeling ungrateful for what I do have.
They leave me wishing I had more money.
At times it causes me to spend more than I should.
At times it causes me to spend more than I should.
I hate that. I cringe at that.
I guess its one of the reasons I haven't been keeping up with blogs as much as I used to.
I don't get on blogger to read blogs the way I used to.
I don't get on blogger to read blogs the way I used to.
Because I don't want to be ungrateful. Because I don't need more.
Because I don't need to spend money that we don't have.
Because I just don't like the feeling of wanting.
Because things really don't matter.
The bank account may never be huge and I'm okay with that because money isn't really what matters.
What matters most is God and my family.
Really I don't need anything more than that.
Give me Jesus and give me my husband and babies and all is right in the world.
That's all I want, that's all I need.
Is this a struggle for anyone else? How do you deal with it, if it is?
i get this 100%. and its not just the "stuff" that i want. i find myself wondering why im not a better writing and wanting more time to do the things i love. its blogger envy at its finest and i am not proud of it either. i go thru phases where i keep myself in check. sometimes posts/blogs/sites give me unrealistic expectations that make me not entirely happy with what i have ... isnt that the same as porn? so i step away from it. but i am also so inspired by other blogs so i always come back ... holding myself accountable to focusing on the things God has already blessed me with and being constantly thankful for those things.
ReplyDeleteGlad someone else can relate! I know at times I definitely need to step away from blogging and the internet in general because its unrealistic for me! I know I need to focus more on what God wants for me and less of what the world wants! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
DeleteYes!! I hear ya completely! It is hard to see those posts about things you wish you had and not feel envious. I think you're already on the right track though... You know what matters! I also think as long as you know what matters it's ok to see things you'd like to have and wish for them. The problem is when you put aside the things that REALLY matter to have the things that don't.
ReplyDeleteAh, good point! Its true... having things isn't exactly bad, but putting aside the things that matter most is what is really wrong! Thanks for the thought! Good to remember!
DeleteI can relate. It's hard to see people succeeding in so many things that you may never have the opportunity to, but you need to remember to be grateful for what you already have and continue to work towards accomplishing things in your own way and time :)
ReplyDeletexo Jennifer
http://seekingstyleblog.wordpress.com
Hi Kassie!
ReplyDeleteHaving that awareness is HUGE! I just don't go to certain blogs or website because they just make me feel bad and they are too worldy. So I just stay away from them. Just too empty,and they can suck you right in like you're saying. But just stick to the narrow path, and keep your boundaries and remember that you don't need any of that, and you are just as good without those things! Jesus tells us to not love the world, or the things in it, and not to be of the world but IN it.
Hope you're feeling good, I'm sure you are getting anxious/excited!
Yes, I agree with what Kassi above said. You see where the problem is, so you're on the right track. You don't place the "things" in higher importance than you Lord or your family, so you're doing ok. To err is human, and he desire for "things" is just that. But it's ok. It is a struggle that we all face (I do, for sure). However, it just means that you must learn to prioritize. And I think that you do a good job of it.
ReplyDeleteFor me, a lot of the "things" I come away wanting are crafty/DIY things. So that's good because then I can only have it if I get off my booty and make it myself, haha! Sure, there's days where I want a new skirt, or shoes, or lipgloss, or home decor... but there's also days where I'm inspired to make water beads with my kids or paint out of cornstarch. In turn, creating a priceless memory with the ones who matter most.
You're not feeling anything that the rest of us haven't.
Just continue doing your best to "filter" it all, and maybe add some different variety to your reading list... "100 things to do with your kids from the dollar store" or "Frugal Mama" type of posts. That helps!
I understand that feeling completely. I find that I'll have seasons where I take a step back from the blog world to get my feet placed more firm again and remember what is more important. and to remember to not compare. and to make sure I'm focusing on God first. which unfortunately makes me want to blog less and my then blog gets very uneventful. (: but I think those seasons are okay and only make us stronger.
ReplyDeleteyour family is beautiful and I know I don't ACTUALLY know you but I can't wait to see your little girl! very excited for you. (:
Love love love.
ReplyDeletePut it into words I couldn't have! :)
This is incredibly beautiful, and something I can definitely relate too. It is something I am going to have to think about more!
ReplyDeleteThank you :)