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Hi there! I'm Jenn, and I write over at My {Not So} Glamorous Life. Today I have the privilege of guest posting for Kassie, and I am simply honored that she would invite me into her space! Anyone that has been following Kassie for a while knows that she is welcoming her 2nd child into the world. I'm so happy for her and her family, because children are such a blessing. (I have three of my own!)
I remember when I was carrying my 2nd child (he's a big five year old now, starting kinder). I was so filled with joy, and happy anticipation.But every pregnant woman can tell you, there's a lot more than that in the realm of emotions. So many ups and downs, and self doubts, and nervousness for the future. And for the well being of your older child as well. "Will he/she still feel loved?", "Will I be able to love both of them the same amount?", "How is this going to change things?"... Those are some of the things that went through my head while I was expecting my 2nd child.Then, one day, I stumbled across this lovely piece of writing. After reading this, it felt as if a weight had been lifted. I was completely at peace, as I knew that both of my children would have carved their own, perfect niche into my heart. As far as I know, this is an anonymous writing:
As I hold your 2-year-old hand, basking in the glow of our magical relationship, I suddenly feel a kick from within, as if to remind me that our time alone is limited.
And I wonder: How could I ever love another child as I love you?
Then he is born, and I watch you. I watch the pain you feel at having to share me, as you've never shared me before.
I hear you telling me in your own way, "Please love only me."
And I hear myself telling you in mine, "I can't," knowing, in fact, that I never can again.
You cry. I cry with you.
I almost see our new baby as an intruder on the precious relationship we once shared.
A relationship we can never quite have again.
But then, barely noticing, I find myself attached to that new being, and feeling almost guilty.
I'm afraid to let you see me enjoying him. -- as though I am betraying you.
But then I notice your resentment change, first to curiosity, then to protectiveness, finally to genuine affection.
More days pass, and we are settling into a new routine.
The memory of days with just the two of us is fading fast. But something else is replacing those wonderful times we shared, just we two.
There are new times -- only now, we are three.
I watch the love between you grow, the way you look at each other, touch each other.
I watch how he adores you -- as I have for so long.
I see how excited you are by each of his new accomplishments.
And I begin to realize that I haven't taken something from you, I've given something to you.
I notice that I am no longer afraid to share my love openly with both of you.
I find that my love for each of you is as different as you are, but equally strong.
And my question is finally answered, to my amazement...
Yes, I can love another child as much as I love you-- only differently.
And although I realize that you may have to share my time, I now know you'll never share my love.
There's enough of that for both of you -- you each have your own supply. I love you -- both and I thank you both for blessing my life."
I have shared this piece of writing many times, because I think that it's something that mom's should recognize and embrace. I don't think that the natural feelings that occur with a 2nd child are something that many of us care to acknowledge, but it is my hope that anybody who is preparing to share their heart with a new little person will be able to do so with the least amount of worry, and with a peaceful and joyous heart.
Thank you for letting me share this favorite with you!
Best Wishes,
Jenn
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