All that matters is Him and them

Today I want to write about something that has been on my heart for a while. I've been meaning to write it out, but for some reason, just haven't. I guess maybe because I'm a bit embarrassed by the truth, Or I don't want others to feel like I'm judging them. 

Blogging has changed for me. I mean, its still about writing things out, still about sharing my heart. 

There's one area I've noticed a change in...And its wanting. Wanting more things. I read a ton of blogs, so many that I cannot keep up with them all. I read lots of posts that are heartfelt, inspiring, encouraging, uplifting, but I also read posts about fashion, products, books, blog conferences. 

And those posts... they leave me wanting things. 

I hate that. I'm embarrassed by that. 

I read blogs and at times come away wanting things I didn't know I wanted until I read that post. 

I get on twitter and see tweets about things people just bought or want. 

I see the same on pinterest and even facebook at times. 

And all those posts leave me wanting more than I have. 

They leave me feeling ungrateful for what I do have. 

They leave me wishing I had more money.
At times it causes me to spend more than I should.

I hate that. I cringe at that. 

I guess its one of the reasons I haven't been keeping up with blogs as much as I used to.
I don't get on blogger to read blogs the way I used to. 

Because I don't want to be ungrateful. Because I don't need more. 

Because I don't need to spend money that we don't have. 

Because I just don't like the feeling of wanting. 

Because things really don't matter. 

The bank account may never be huge and I'm okay with that because money isn't really what matters. 

What matters most is God and my family. 

Really I don't need anything more than that.

Give me Jesus and give me my husband and babies and all is right in the world.

That's all I want, that's all I need.

Is this a struggle for anyone else? How do you deal with it, if it is? 

Dear Braden

Do you know how much I love you? How much joy you bring to my life? 

Your hugs and kisses are the best. Your smile, your laugh, can brighten up the darkest of days.

All of those things, they really are the best.

Do you know how much you remind me of your daddy? 

Sometimes you look exactly like him and I just love that. 

You're a lot like him too. 

Determined to do what you want, when you want, regardless of what others say. 

It drives us crazy at times, but we know that when your older, it will be a good thing. Most of the time.

I hope your passionate like your daddy. Goal driven like your daddy.

Do you know that you make me think of myself when I was little? 

You like to look through books.

And have me read to you (even though you can't sit still for an entire book). 

Reading was always something I loved and still love to do. 

You like to color and paint.

Grandma would always give me a pencil and piece of paper when I was little and it made me happy!

You make the same faces as me too.
I love that we share that. 

Do you know that you're a child of God? 

He loves you more than you could ever know. More than we could ever know.

He's known about you since before you we're born. 

He knows about your whole life and He will always be with you.

Do you know how excited I am for you to meet your little sister? 

I may be scared about it all... but I know you'll love each other.

I know you'll be the best of friends. 

I just can't wait to watch you together. 

Do you know how loved you are? 

Loved with all my heart. All your daddy's heart. And so many more people love you. 

We'd do anything for you and we'll always be here for you. 

Always. Don't forget that baby.

Thankful for toddlerhood

"Being a parent is the hardest job you'll ever have." 

All of us parents have probably heard that a time or two. 

It is something that pops into my head on the hard days because I know its true. 

When the toddler is fussing, throwing fits, won't listen, ect... I know its true. 

It really is the hardest job. 

I figure it always will be. 

It's tough when they are an itty bitty newborn with the crying and being up all sorts of hours.
It's hard when they are a toddler because...
they desperately want to be independent and at times you have to fight them on that!
Its hard when they are a teenager, I am sure, because I remember how I was with my parents.
I imagine its hard when they are adult too.
You have to sit back and let them be adults.
You have to watch them make their own choices...
and at times probably wanting them to chose differently.
Or seeing them in hurt through out life because that's how life is sometimes.

Toddlerhood has been really hard lately. 

Most days are tough because Braden so desperately wants to do things his way, when he wants too! 

I mean I get it, because well, aren't we the same way? 

But he can't always have his way, because everything he wants isn't always what is best for him. 

I've found it easy to get caught up in the bad moments. 

I've found it easy to complain about his fussing or fit throwing. 

However, I don't like that... I don't like that some days all I do is complain about him or seem to some like I don't enjoy being his mama at all because I love him dearly. Being his mama is the best job. 

So today I'm telling myself to be thankful for motherhood, thankful for my toddler.

Because truthfully, in my heart, even in the bad moments, I am so thankful for him. 

I wouldn't have my life any other way.

I am thankful for a toddler who is growing big and strong. 

Its so fun to watch him enjoy new things...

like coloring and actually using the crayons instead of eating them,

Or cars, cars, cars. Always cars. 

I am thankful for a toddler who enjoys being outside. 

He'd be outside all day if we let him.
Its his favorite place and I love that.

I am thankful for a toddler who sleeps in most of the time.

Who plays in his room in the morning until he wants to come out.

Who is, more often than not, happy when he wakes. 

I am thankful for a toddler who likes to kiss and hug.

Who likes to wrestle with his daddy...

And cries when daddy stops because apparently it is just that much fun! 

I am thankful for a toddler who eats well.
Thankful that he asks for yogurt, bananas, strawberries, and apples. 

Okay... often it is oreos too. 

I'm thankful for a toddler who likes to read books and play with blocks. 

Thankful for a toddler who likes to play with his parents but also by himself. 

I'm thankful for a toddler who is getting better at listening! 

So thankful for that! =)

I'm thankful for a toddler who is most of the time a happy little guy.

Full of smiles and giggles. 

Who really is just the most adorable little boy I know. 

So much to be thankful for when it comes to him. 

He really is a great little boy!
Love my Braden! 

My battle with cloth diapering

I never really thought about using cloth diapers, not until I saw a handful of mom's around me doing so.

My thoughts were something along the lines of, "isn't that what they did in the old days?" 

Because, well, it was...

But I listened to mom's talk about it and how it saves money + is good for the environment. 

Not to mention they make the babies butts look so darn cute. 

So I made the decision that we'd use cloth diapers and we do, most of the time.
But can I just say that some times I really hate them? 

I despise doing laundry and they surely add a ton more because um, babies go to the bathroom a lot! ;)

It's not even the laundry part that makes me dislike them so much at times...

It is the fact that some times they are just nasty. 

I tried spraying them, but really it just got everywhere and I really didn't want to throw up.
So then I used a spatula. Not gonna lie... that was probably worse. 

Now, I just dunk em.

Still grossed out? 

Yeah, me too. Seriously, some times that makes me want to gag. 

Some times its just easier to use disposables and I do. 

I give myself grace in this area because at times its better to not deal with it. 

It's a battle really. I go back and forth between wanting to keep on using them and wanting to stop. 

I know though, that using them will save a ton of money because my goodness diapers are pricey! 

That's what will keep me using them. 

And the fact that I just got a box of them for $50 for baby Maeva. ;) Love finding them for cheap! 

Do you use cloth? Did you and then stop? 

What are your thoughts of cloth diapering? Worth it or no?