Monday, November 18, 2013

Trying to let go of perfection

I wouldn't call myself a perfectionist, as I don't try to do everything perfectly.
But I would say I feel the need to be a perfectionist.
I want to be perfect.
I want to do everything the right way, the first time.
The area I struggle with the most in is parenting.

I want to always enjoy my kids.
I never want to lose my cool and yell at them.
I want to discipline them well and never out of anger.
I never want to be frustrated with them.
But that isn't my reality.

For some reason, I've gotten in my head that is reality for other moms.
Where this thought process came from, I'm unsure.
Maybe its the internet…
seeing glimpses of other moms enjoying their kids,
through their blogs or instagram feeds.
Maybe its seeing other moms pin all these activities to do with their children.
Rarely seeing the moments where other moms scream and yell.
Rarely seeing the moments where they spank their kids out of anger.
Rarely seeing the moments where the mom puts her kid in front of the tv,
just as much as I do.
Rarely seeing the moments where the mom goes into her room to cry,
because she feels like a horrible parent.
Maybe its my own insecurities when it comes to being a mom.
Will I ever feel sure of myself in this role of motherhood?
I'm unsure that I will, but I hope for it and I pray for it.

I'm trying to let go of this idea that I have to be the perfect mother.
Really, there is no such thing as a perfect mother.
I'm going to make mistakes and probably have times where I feel like the worst mother.
But I'm not the worst mother because I love my kids more than I could ever explain.
That's the most important thing and they know I love them.

I'm also trying to let go of perfection for my husband.
I'm unsure why I tried to burden him with that…
Why I felt that he needed to be perfect, when I'm not perfect.
We aren't perfect, flawless parents, but we try are darn hardest and love our kids.
I know letting go of this need, this want, will be good for my whole family.
Good and healthy!

Are you a perfectionist? What area do you struggle with it the most in?

1 comment:

  1. This is so me. I think that's why I have such a love/hate relationship with Instagram. I have to tell myself that people usually only post the good moments and to give myself grace.


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