Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Heart Stuff

Life is so full of emotion.
Emotions that make you feel great...
And emotions that make you feel like you may lose it. 
Honestly, mine have been doing the later. 

I've struggled with depression since I was young. 
There were just things in life that weighed me down, things in life I didn't understand.
Or things I simply didn't know how to grasp or handle.
Like...
Being angry at my dad for cheating on my mom,
A friend dying when I was in 3rd grade,
Not getting to see my half-brother for years and years,
Getting treated horribly by boys. 


Even though I've dealt with a lot of those things, forgiven my dad, understood that death isn't really death if you know Jesus, seen my half brother, and clung to God because sometimes people are just awful, I sometimes, still don't know how to handle heart issues. 

I still get engulfed in anger to the point where that's all I feel. 
I still bawl my eyes out at times.
I still feel waves of depression hit me out of nowhere.
I still react quicker than I should and usually in the wrong way.
I eat to make myself feel better, which used to be the exact opposite. 

At times things just seem like too much. 
I wish I was better at sorting through heart things. 
I wish I handled my emotions better. 
Just what's on my mind today.

Are you good at handling your emotions?
Is there something that has helped you in this area?
I know really, I need to go to God about it. 
I know He can help, but that's the hard part too, knowing where to start with it all...

3 comments:

  1. Yep, yep yep. I can relate. I do the over-eating or not eating thing depending on what is upsetting me... Depression sucks! I feel ya.

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  2. There is a bible study I did a couple years ago called Calm My Anxious Heart-- I HIGHLY reccomend it!

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  3. I can relate in so many ways Kassie, I am quick to anger far too often. I take comfort in the fact that everyday is clean slate and that I can always seek redemption. Huge hugs lovely and know that you are never alone xo

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