Sunday, September 2, 2012

How its going as BIG BROTHER.

I don't usually blog during the weekends, but with a newborn + a toddler blogging is definitely different and happening a lot less. I hope that changes soon because I really do enjoy it, but other things are clearly more important right now! 

Right now, what's on my heart, or who is on my heart, I should say, is my son. 
I'm unsure if I will actually write about Maeva's birth story because it was a scheduled c-section and what is there really to say about that? Of course it will be a day I always remember because it was the day she was born, but it was so different from when Braden was born. I actually labored and we actually got pictures of it all. Sadly, we didn't get many pictures this time... for some reason and I'm actually pretty darn upset about it. We got a few, but not as many as I would have liked. 
Anyway, none of that is the point.... the reason I'm writing this is because since having Maeva, her brother just seems so different. 

Really, the changes started as soon as we had her. The picture above is the first time Braden held his little sister and it looks likes he is about to cry. I know though, that he wasn't really understanding what was going on and it was probably a bit overwhelming to him. 

There was a moment in the hospital after having her that really got to me. 
I was in the hospital bed really unable to move a whole lot and Braden wasn't able to sit with me. 
I would have loved for him to, but he likes to crawl all over me and doesn't really sit, so with the c-section it wasn't really possible. I wanted to hug him and kiss him. 
I tried, but he didn't want me... he kept on turning away from me when I tried and it broke my heart. 
All of my family was in my room - parents, in-laws, grandparents, aunts, uncles - and I just started bawling. 

Braden always wanted me. He's a mama's boy, but then, he just didn't seem to want to have anything to do with me and my heart just ached. I know really that it was probably more of him concerned about being in the hospital bed and really unsure about everything going on, but in that moment, I couldn't help but think, "I can't do this. I can't be a mom of two." Lots of thoughts ran through my head and I was really terrified of what things would look like at home. 

When we came home things were much better and continue to get better.
Braden had stayed with my mom while James and I were at the hospital and when he saw us walking into the door, he was happy to see us. Smiles, giggles and hugs for us. 

A lot of people told us that Braden would be a wreck when it came to having a little sister. 
"The world won't revolve around him," they would say. 
It drove us nuts and actually made me a little mad because its not encouraging what so ever. 
Braden has surprised me though. He seems so much bigger now. 

He feels like he weighs a ton of bricks. 
He's been talking so much more, which we really love.
He plays better by himself.
He also seems to be adjusting well to his little sister. 
Sometimes he'll just stop and stare at her. He'll smile at her. 
He'll touch her feet or her head.
Overall its going pretty well, him being a big brother and we are really happy about that. 


  1. Oh Kassie, you made me cry!
    I feel the hardest part will be when Jane can't be with me during labor and then right after, during recovery.
    I'm nervous for a time when she feels abandoned or something when she realizes mama has to care for another little baby.
    Thanks for sharing that things have gotten better though! That is great to hear!
    I'm hoping, that since Jane is much younger than Braden, that it will all just be "whatever" to her and she will adjust quickly and love her new brother/sister. We will see I guess!!


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