Friday, June 15, 2012

Mama Guilt: What good does it do?

You know, before I was pregnant with my son,
I didn't even realize there was such a thing as mama guilt. 
I never would have thought of such a thing because why would there be such a thing?
I see no point in it. 
What's the point in making other mother's feel bad about how they are as a mom? 
What's the point in making them feel guilty to get them to do something or to not do something?
Shouldn't we, as mothers, encourage one another? Lift one another up? Love each other? 
Instead we guilt, guilt, guilt. 
We say you're an awful mother because you bottle feed, instead of nurse.
You're an awful mother because you let the tv be on for a long time ( totally doing this right now because guess what? I'm pregnant and tired!). 
You're an awful mother because you put your child on a leash. 
On and on, we guilt. 
I don't see it doing any good in my life. All it does is make me feel bad about myself.
I don't need to feel bad about myself. I don't need to feel guilty.
I'm so thankful that God doesn't do mommy guilt. 
Instead He encourages, lifts up, and loves us mama's. Instead He does the same for our little ones.
So I decided something right now. I'm not going to do mama guilt to myself or to others. 
If I disagree with something there is a proper way to disagree. 
Most of the time I probably don't need to open my mouth about it. =)
I believe the only time to really say anything is if the child is really being hurt.
Beating your child? Yeah, its okay to say something, but I think that's different than mommy guilt.
But I'm not going to judge you if you bottle feed or have the tv on. 
I'm also not going to read articles about whether its a good idea to have your child on a leash or not! 
(I did this yesterday and it just made me mad). 

What do you think about mama guilt? How do you handle it?



  1. Thanks for stopping by my blog and commenting. This is such a great thoughtful post! I think I feel mama guilt not because of others but just because I inflict it on myself. I just want to be the best mom I can possibly be and sometimes feeling mama guilt makes me reflect on what I'm doing and allows me to change it. Thanks again for this post!

    1. I definitely think theres good in reflecting on things we can do better because we all can!
      I don't know what to call that, but it feels different than mama guilt, ya know?

      Thanks for reading =)

  2. I hate mama guilt. I didn't know it existed before I had my baby either. I just don't get why anyone feels the need to judge us for making the best decisions we can for our family. I try to just blow it off and move on. I know that I'm doing the best I can, and if you don't like it, come walk a day in my shoes. :)

    1. I want to blow it off too and totally get the come walk in my shoes thought!

      Thanks for reading!

  3. Kind of funny because I was ragging on moms who don't walk with their kids in parking lots, but that's a safety issue. I'm a huge fan of the kiddo leash though, because some kids need that! Jackson is a prime example of someone who doesn't want to stay by someone's side, so I get it. Anyways, if you're doing what's best for the kiddo in the long haul, do it. Forget the crank pots, because they'll find problems with everything. :)

    1. So different when its one of safety! They need to walk with their children in the parking lot. Sometimes we let Braden walk in the parking lot, but he has to hold our hands or he is picked up! =)

  4. Amen Sister! It's amazing how people feel the need to tell you what you're doing wrong. I am not a mom but I was a nanny and I saw it a lot with the moms. I even see it on blogs. The one I see the most is breastfeeding. Grrr. It makes me mad but you're right you should let it roll of your shoulder. You're a great mom :)

    1. Aw, thank you so much! I try!

      People have an opinion on everything.... I know this, but sometimes opinions are better left unsaid, ya know?

  5. Here, here!
    Glad you've made such a considerate decision for yourself and the Mother's around you :)

  6. thank you for your honesty- guilt is something i really struggle with. excited to follow you :) xo

  7. I am with you on this! An a new mama, I'm discovering that you just do what works for your baby, your family, your life, and sometimes that doesn't look like what all the books and blogs suggest. Before I had a child, I was guilty of judging mothers for all kinds of things, and I thought I was justified because they weren't doing it the "right" way. How sorry I am for that now. This thing we're doing is hard--let's support and encourage each other!

  8. I love this post and your pure honesty. Every mom goes through it, but few ever say anything out loud. But I 100% agree, we should be lifting one another up & letting each other know we're doing a good job. But I usually deal with by knowing that I'm doing the best I possibly can & if someone doesn't like what I'm doing that's their problem to worry about, not mine:) But you've inspired me be a support to other moms. We're all different & all kids are different & all situations. Thanks for sharing!
    -JA @ the letter 4


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