Philippians 4:5

I'm currently reading a series by Karen Kingsbury.
She is my favorite Christian Author because of the truth I see in her characters.
I can relate to them and by reading her stories about them, I've grown to love the characters and can find myself in them.

The current series I am reading is the Bailey Flanigan Series, which I highly recommend.
Bailey is the type of girl I wish I was growing up - strong in her faith.
She guards her heart with prayer and scripture. I wish I was more like that.
It is the type of woman I want to be and the type of woman I believe God wants me to be.

In the book that I am currently reading there is a moment that Bailey is struggling with hurt from someone important. She is reading her Bible during that time and a piece of scripture jumps out at her. It  said, "Let your gentleness be evident to all." I've read this passage many times in the Bible, but this hit me hard.

God expects me to be gentle.
He expects it to be seen by people, for us to let people see it.
Gah! Can I just say that's really hard for a person, who isn't gentle, to read?
There are moments when I am gentle yes, but there are also many moments when I'm not.
But God wants me to be.

He wants me to be gentle with my son when he is throwing a tantrum for no reason.
He wants to be to be gentle when speaking to my husband.
He wants me to be gentle when I disagree with people.
He wants me to be gentle when I am so angry I can hardly contain it.
He wants me to be gentle and be kind.
He wants me to be gentle and forgive.
He wants me to be gentle and love.
He wants me to be gentle with myself.
He wants me to be gentle always.

Oh, how hard it is to be gentle when things aren't going your way.
Or when others aren't being gentle with you!
But that's the type of woman I want to be, so its something to work on.

God, I know
You want me to work on gentleness.
Help me to be gentle with others (and myself) like You are with me.
Amen.