What I want to be

I read this quote the other day and ever since it hasn't left my mind. 

It's one of those quotes that I want to inspire and motivate me. 

There is so much I want to be in life, but lots of those things I fail at. 

I go to bed most nights thinking I failed because I didn't do so in so 

or because I acted a certain way towards my husbands and children. 

I'm tired of letting my head hit the pillow and being disappointed in how I've been.

Now, I'm not saying I shouldn't give myself grace. 

I know I can't be perfect, even if I want to. 

I know I'm going to fail. I know I'm going to mess up. 

I'm trying to be okay with that, but being okay with that doesn't mean I can't be better. 

So, who do I want to be? What do I want to be? 

There's a list, of course. 

I want to be kinder to my husband and children. 

I want to have a better relationship with Christ. 

I want to be organized in many areas. 

I'm sure there is more, but I don't want to overwhelm you or myself ;) 

These are the things I want in my heart, but I can't just snap my fingers

and have them be true in my life (oh, how easy that would make things). 

I have to do things in order to be who I want to be. 

When it comes to my husband and kids... 

I have to watch my tongue (I am NOT good at that).

I have the breathe and pray a whole lot!
I have to make a lot of effort because sometimes its tough! 

When it comes to my relationship with Christ...

I have to make the time, which again, I am not very good at. 

But if I want to know Him, if I want to have a strong relationship with Him,

If I want Him to be ever present in my life, then that is what I have to do! 

I have to read His word, pray, and go to church. 

I have to have a relationship with him like I do with others who are important to me. 

I so badly want to be organized. 

I want to have a clean home, a cleaning schedule, a schedule in general and on and on.
This does not come naturally to me even though I desperately wish it did!
I need to work on it... make myself make lists, schedules, clean every day and not just let things pile up.

There's so much I want to be, but the only way to be is by doing.
I'm not going to just get anywhere sitting on my tush! =)

I know we all have things we want to be, things we want to change. 

It takes motivation, time and a lot of work. 

But I can be who I want to be if I take steps to be so, 

but more importantly if I go to Him and ask for His help. 

That's the real way to change from the inside out!

That's what I really want, my heart to be different! 

Praying for a change of heart

I'm in need of a heart change, an attitude adjustment. 

I try to be a good wife, but so often I fall short. 

I'm negative, moody, naggy, and sometimes just plain mean. 

It's not fun for anyone. It's not uplifting or encouraging. 

It's weighing me down and hurting. 

I realize though, that I can't do this alone. 

I can't change my own heart or my own attitude, not by myself. 

Every time I try I fall short and then end up even more upset with myself.

I'm thankful for a husband who always forgives, but I want to do better.

So Lord, please come into my heart... draw near to me and help me draw near to you.

Change my heart and my attitude. 

Help me to be better with my actions and words.

Help me to love and pray more. 

To cling to and follow Your word more.

A whole lot more...