My Word for 2015: Intentional

This is the first year I've decided to pick a word for the year.
I'm not a huge fan of new year resolutions (or goals for that matter)
because I struggle in achieving them and find myself giving up far too quickly.
However, at the end of the year I always find myself wishing that past had been different.
I always finding myself wishing that something more had happened,
that I had changed, grown, in some way.
So, a word for 2015 seemed like a good thing.

This year my word will be INTENTIONAL.
This is a word that both scares and excites me.
It's a word that has been on my heart and mind for a long time,
but one I've ran away from because it is hard to be intentional.
I've wanted to be intentional in many areas of my life,
but honestly, as a mama, I constantly feel so tired
that I find it oh so hard to be intentional at all.
However, I'm tired of that!
I'm tired of getting to the end of my days
and asking myself, "What did I do today?"
I'll tell you that the answer usually invovles too much cleaning and Netflix.
Not something I'm proud of or something I want to look back on
and realize that is all I did with my days!
Therefore, even though I'm scared, I know that intentional is the word for me!

So how do I want to be intentional?
I've written things down in my journal that I want to be intentional about,
but I also realize that things may change when it comes to that.
Here are a few areas I want to work on when it comes to being intentional in 2015:

I want to be intentional in my relationship with Jesus. 
This is one of the main areas I want to be intentional in during 2015.
If I fail in any or all other areas, but can grow in this area I will be very happy!
For me, being intentional in my relationship with God involves many different things.
I want to be in the word more. Not just skimming through it, but really in it.
I want to have scripture on my heart and mind. I want to cover my life in it.
I plan on reading the whole Bible in a year
and plan on doing so with the help of She Reads Truth.
I also want to pray more, which for me looks like writing out my prayers in my journal.
In college I was so good at that. It was the way I survived, pouring my heart out to Him.
That's how I've always felt connected to God and I know it's important to do so.
I even bought a new journal to do so and hope by the end of the year to have it filled.
I haven't filled up a journal since college and I miss it!
Being intentional in my relationship with God also looks like going back to church.
If you know me then you know this has been a struggle for myself (and my family),
for a while now. I hope we can change that this year.
I plan on carving out time to be intentional with Him.
I'm hoping this year I can make a huge effort to get myself out of bed before everyone else,
and into the word before the day begins.
I know this makes a huge difference during the day!

I want to be intentional with my "me" time. 
Like I said I often get to the end of my days
and realize I've spent far too much time watching Netflix
or on the internet not really doing much of anything but waisting time!
Now, this isn't necessarily an awful thing. I mean, it is how I relax and I do enjoy it,
but I know that there are other things I need to do, other things I would enjoy doing if I just did them!
I want to spend more time reading books. I used to be such a book worm
and I know once I pick up a book I will truly enjoy the feel of it in my hands
and escaping into a story within words, not just through a screen!
I also want to spend more time with my camera (and not just my phone for IG).
I would like to learn more about how to use my camera
and capture things that really matter.
As I look back over pictures I have taken with my digital camera,
I realize how much more I cherish those photos and the memories behind them.
I would like to do more crafts and painting as well.
I've struggled in being intentional in this area because it takes more effort.
Usually "me time" is all about zoning out
and not doing something that involves much thinking.
I look forward to changing that and doing things I really do love!

I want to be intentional with my children. 
I want to get the kiddos on a schedule.
That is also something I've been meaning to do forever now,
but have been running away from because it takes a lot of time and effort.
I am not a huge scheduler, but I know it would be so good for them!
I also want to focus on getting them to obey me and being better with discipline.
Being consistent is super hard for me when it comes to those areas,
but I know it would be an amazing thing for my whole family if I got better in those areas.
I want to give them more attention.
So often I feel like I am in survival mode and truthfully that just sucks!
Survival mode to me looks like a whole lot of tv for us and me cleaning
far too much as a way of coping with crazy kids.
I know it isn't healthy or fair, so I want less tv and less cleaning.
I want to do activities and crafts with them.
I want to play and have more fun with them.
This may be on of the hardest areas for me to be intentional.
I know however, that my kids need me to be more intentional with them!

I want to be more intentional in my marriage. 
Can I just admit right here, right now that marriage has felt really hard this past year?
Like I want to throw my hands up and run away hard?
Well, as much as I wish I could say it wasn't my fault, that'd be a lie!
There is one big area I would like to work on when it comes to my marriage
and that is being kinder to my husband, especially with my words.
I can be really hateful, sassy, and mean.
It usually comes from a  place of hurt or fear, which may justified,
but I usually make things a million times worse just by opening my mouth.
I want to think more before I open my mouth.
More than that though, I want to pray more before I open my mouth.
I want to take my feelings and thoughts to
God about whatever before I say anything to my husband.
My guess is I would talk (and feel) differently if I did so!
I know this will be hard because I am super emotional,
but I also know that is would drastically change our marriage if I did so!

I want to be intentional about my health. 
I've been somewhat intentional this last year.
If you've been around then you know I've participated in Whole30
and it changed my life completely!
However, I still struggle with emotional eating.
I really would love to kick that issue to the curb
and lose the extra weight I am still carrying around.
This might mean another round of Whole30,
cutting down on sugar (if not eliminating is completely),
 and definitely means working out.

So far those are the areas I want to focus on when it comes to being intentional.
It's a lot, but I so desperately want these areas of my life to be different.
I want to enjoy life more and I think being intentional will definitely help me to do so!
Do you have a word for 2015? Have you had a word in the past?
Or is this your first year deciding on a word like me? Please share!