That other mom

Can I confess something to you?

Sometimes I wish I was that other mom. 

You know the other mom who appears to have it all together?

The mom who seems to be able to do it all. 

The cooking. The cleaning. The playing with her kids.

The blogging. The working from home. The hanging out with friends.

The dating her husband. The time to herself. The meeting of needs for others.

The never tiring of it and still being able to go, go, go.

You know the mom who never ever yells at her kids?

She talks patiently to her kids no matter what. 

Even if they don't obey, she's right down at their level talking firmly, but never yelling.

She never loses her cool or comes across as a completely psycho person.

She never fears her neighbors hear her through closed doors. 

And her kids, they listen to her so well. 

You know that mom who never spanks out of anger? 

The mom who doesn't think as her head hits the pillow, "I am an awful mother." 

The mom who doesn't cry out to God, 

"Why am I like this?"

 "What's wrong with me?"

"Why can't I do it right?" 

You know the mom who always enjoys her kids?

The mom who doesn't just make it through the day, but enjoys it every second. 

The mom who doesn't count the minutes until nap time and bed time. 

The mom who finds so much joy in her kids constantly. 

As I write all these things I wish I were, the tears are falling, because this is hard. 

Having three littles ones is hard, but add in all the doubt and it's much more difficult.

I'm not really sure if there is any mom like that.

I'm sure every mother struggles in her own way.

Some of the same ways I do, some ways I don't. 

I know though, that even though sometimes I wish I were like that mom, my kids don't. 

They forgive me for the crazy moments. They still love me and I'm the one they want. 

They don't want some other mom, they just want me. 

Mamas, the same goes for you. 

We can wish we were different and we can strive to be better. 

There's grace for when we aren't and I try to remember that. 

I also remember that all these things, they don't really matter to my kids.

At the beginning of the day and at the end of the night, 

my kids still want me, because I am their mama.