Thursday, July 10, 2014

Choose Joy

An entry from my journal:

Dear God, Today I woke up and prayed that I'd find joy in You, 
that I'd find joy in my children. I know it's there God, but so often I miss it. 
I saw it today though and it was a good day. A day where I didn't yell much at all, a day where the kids didn't cry all day long, a day where they listened so well. 
I hope for more days like today God. 
Good days, joyful days, days where I enjoy motherhood 
and my kids enjoy being children.
Remind me of this day God and remind me that I have to choose joy.
The circumstances don't always feel joyous Lord, but today made me realize a lot of the time it's about my attitude. Help me to chose joy Lord. 
Thank You for this joyful day - it was refreshing to this place we call home. 

Those were the words of thanksgiving,
I scribbled in journal to the Lord at the end of a really good day! 
You see, it's been a while since I've had a great day when it comes to motherhood. 
So often, after putting the kids to bed, I dread the next morning. 
I know the sun will rise and with it will come feelings of not wanting to face another day. 
Another day where the toddlers don't listen and all they do is fuss and cry. 
Another day where I have little to zero patience and yell way too much. 
I know there's grace in those moments because I'm not called to be perfect, 
but still having day after day of those days is hard for all of us. 
I didn't want another day like that one. I needed hope. I needed joy. 
So, I prayed for it in the morning and then I made an effort for it to be in the day. 
God heard me when I prayed and answered my prayers. 

Braden and Maeva played so well together, enjoying some cloud dough.
There was laughter, smiles, and dinosaur noises coming from both of them. 
There was no fighting, no tears, no fussing. 
They were full of joy and that made my heart full of joy. 
Surprisingly the took naps without fussing and woke up happy, ready for a snack. 
We sat at the table together, talking and laughing. 
Usually I'm too busy to just sit with them, which shouldn't be the case. 
Sitting with my kids, talking and laughing with them, is the most important.
It lifts all our souls. It makes our house a home of joy. 

So, I prayed that I would remember that day.
That I'd remember sometimes my kids attitudes reflects my attitude. 
I told myself that when the day is feeling long and hard, 
that I'd ask myself...
Am I choosing joy today? 
Am I having a bad attitude?
Am I giving my kids what they need today? 
Because really, sometimes its all about checking myself when its coming those things
and making changes if necessary. 

Do you struggle in choosing joy when it comes to motherhood?
What helps you to chose joy? What steals your joy? 

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