Wednesday, May 7, 2014

Childhood insecurities

I'm pretty sure we all had insecurities as a child.
Maybe not when we were super young, but as we grew, some appeared. 
For me, I had huge insecurities when it came to my hair. 
If you seen pictures on my Instagram or even on my blog, when I was little, 
you know I had super short hair. 
I'm not sure why my hair was always cut so short. 
I'm assuming because it was just easier to take care of, 
but I do know that I hated it more than anything.
My grandma always took me to get me to take my hair cut 
and every single time I cried. 
It even got to the point where she wouldn't tell me she was taking me to get my hair cut
because I would sit in the car and refuse to get out. 
It really felt like torture to me because of how upset I got.
I felt and was told that I looked like a boy. 
That's hard on a girl in elementary school. 

This is one insecurity that has followed me into my adulthood.
If I get a bad haircut or get it cut shorter than I would like, I lose it. 
I'll cry for weeks about it and feel so ugly. 
I know it may seem silly to people and I understand that, 
but it's still something that can make so insecure.
Ever since I was able to (junior high) I've grown my hair out.
I've had some bad hair cuts now and then, but not in a while.
My stylist is amazing and I will only get my hair cut and done by her! 
I refuse to go anywhere else even though it's a drive to get to her and costs a bit more!
This past weekend I got my hair done and decided to do something different. 
This was a big thing for me because I am scared of that insecurity.
I was scared I wouldn't like the color or layering it, 
but I actually love it so much!
I'm glad I didn't let my childhood insecurity grab ahold of me 
and keep me from trying something new! 

It's hard at times. 
It can be so easy to let your inssecurities drag you down 
and make you feel awful about yourself! 
I pray that my insecurities never keep me from doing.
I also pray that I never do anything that makes my kids feel insecure.
Yes, I will parent them and sometimes they will have to do things they won't like,
but I never want them to feel insecure about themselves because of me,
over little things like haircuts or clothes. Or anything at all.

Do you have any childhood insecurities that have followed you into adulthood?
Are you willing to share them? Have you conquered them?

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