Wednesday, February 19, 2014

My struggle with mom guilt

I struggle with mom guilt on a daily basis.
Sometimes, okay often, multiple times a day.
At times I find it to be something that takes over my mind for the entire day. 
I can't help but think, "I'm the worst mom of ever!" because of this and that.
I know that's not true. 
I mean, let's be honest, there are bad moms out there. 
There are moms who don't take care of their kids. 
There are moms who neglect and abuse their kids.
There are moms who leave their kids.
I'm not one of those moms.
I take care of my kids - feed, clothe, protect them.
I spend time with them. 
I may joke about running away, but only for the day. 
I'll never leave my kids. 
I'll forever love them. 
Those things, they are what make a good mom. 

Mom guilt, for me, comes from two places. 
One being the devil. 
And the other being the internet. 
The devil knows this is one area he can make me feel inadequate in. 
If he can make me feel bad in this one area, he can make me feel like the worst person. 
It can affect my whole mood, my whole life, feeling like a bad mom. 
God doesn't do guilt. Only the devil does. 
So I know that it's not truth... it's not real. 
God urges me to do better. He shows me where I can do better and how. 
The devil however, doesn't do those things. Just tears me down. 
I'm also certain that he uses the internet
to make me feel like I'm not doing motherhood right! 
I get on instagram and see mom's who seem to do it all.
They play with their kids, do activites, take their kids to the library and zoo, ect. 
I log into pinterest and see all the activities I should be doing with my kids. 
Of course,  blogs can make me feel guilty too. 
I think the internet is good at making me feel guilty, which is why I try to take breaks. 

The guilt has hit me a lot more since having my third. 
I didn't expect it, but it is there. 
I read the other day that parents put too much pressure on themselves, too much guilt. 
This blogger was writing about parents feeling guilty
because they don't play with their kids enough. 
That is a huge source of guilt for me. 
For some reason I've gotten it into my head that I should be playing with them 24/7. 
I should never not be doing something with them! 
I should always be around them and enjoy them! 
I should always be entertaining them! 
This woman wrote about how untrue that is. 
It isn't our job to entertain our kids. 
They need to play alone or with each other. 
It helps them grow. 
When I was a kid I don't remember my mom playing with me. 
I watched a whole lot of tv, played with my sister and friends, and played outside. 
That was my childhood and I turned out pretty okay. 
I know things have changed since then, but the guilt, it's too much and not needed! 
So, I'm aiming to let go of it. 
My kids know I love them 
and they aren't being harmed because I don't entertain them constantly. 
It's good for them to play by themselves 
or with each other because in real life mama ain't always going to be around! 
It's part of growing up for them and part of letting go for me. 

Do you struggle with mom guilt?
What do you say, we let it go? Because really we are doing the best we can! 


  1. Yes to this. Oh man. And my mom didn't play with me either, that I can remember... I was great at using my imagination! She didn't ignore me, but she was usually balancing bills, cleaning, et .... I think the biggest thing now for our generation is not being on our phone so much that it takes our attention from them too much. It's ok to use them but if our kids are crying or needing something they come first before media. Just now I explained to Emma that I needed to finish this message really quick before "insert need". And now I'm going to go get Audrey cause she's crying ;)
    Oh but another idea. When Emma watches a show sometimes I have her cuddle on me while I read blogs via my phone. Win win.

  2. Talking to Jesus helps. When your having a "guilt moment" just whisper a prayer of thanksgiving for your kids.

  3. You are such a GREAT mom. The proof is in the post, because you're worried! If you didn't care.. you'd be one of those bad moms. But, you CARE a LOT! Honestly, mom guilt is not something I deal with much. Yes, every now and then it creeps in.. but, over the years I've learned to let it go. My kids are older than yours though.. and that should maybe give you a little bit of hope? haha! You're right, the kids need to learn to play and entertain themselves. They know that they can go to you whenever they NEED you and that's important!! Keep doing what you're doing because you're doing a great job. xoxo

  4. Oh yes, I totally struggle. As a SAHM, people almost expect that my kids should know more than other kids. And then I believe that too. I believe that Brayden should already be able to write his own name and count to 100 or whatever. Ugh. But I am doing the best I can. It's hard some times to balance all the cleaning with playing but we manage. :)


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