Thursday, March 21, 2013

A longing for friendship

There is a deep need for something in my heart.
It's something, really, I've longed for since 2009, when I graduated college.
It's something I've longed for since losing a good friend and gaining her back, yet having it different.
This thing, the need for it, has grown even stronger since becoming a mom of two.
Friendship. That's what my heart wants.
Honest. Real. Friendship.

^^^ Me and my girlfriends on my wedding day^^^

I had a great group of girlfriends in college. The girls pictured above are just a few. 
Some of us lived together during the last two years of college and I miss that.
I miss having my friends right there... to talk to, listen to, cry with, laugh with. 
We aimed to be open with one another about our struggles in life and tried to go through it all together.
We're we perfect at it? No. Were things always pleasant? No. But we we're always friends. 
I miss that and probably always will, especially the relationship I had with my best friend.
It's different now because of many things, mostly because of me, which I may write about soon.
Really a different topic all together. 

Friendships change when you leave the place you all were together.
Now, many of us our spread out... 
Some in different parts of Kansas, 
One in California
One in D.C. 
And one soon heading off to Europe after she gets married in less than a few months.
Distance and life change things. 
We keep up as best as we can through emails, cards, phone calls and visits at least once a year.
I'm thankful for those moments and always feel filled up with friendship afterwards. 
I would never say these girls aren't good enough as friends because that's not true.
But honestly, I want friendships here. 
I want friendships where women are at the same stage in life as me. I want mom friends. 

I long for friendships where I can share my heart open and honestly.
Friendships where I can talk about things happening in my life without fear of judgement, just love. 
Friendships where I feel connected to other women in a deeper sense than just hanging out. 
I think as a woman, my heart needs that, I think it's suppose to.
I hope I find it soon or it finds me. 
I hope I have the courage to seek it out. 

Do you have close girlfriends?
Or find yourself in my situation -- where your close ones are farther away?

By the way, I feel the need to clarify that I do have friends! HA.
I would be miserable without my Bible study ladies, but one is leaving for Europe soon! 


  1. I was just feeling this the other day when I realized church is where it's at for me. We have a women's organization that's full of young moms & I love to go to activities to chat & have some me time. I realize it'll never be just like it was in college (i miss my roomies sometimes!) but I'm grateful for these instant connections through church anyway.

  2. My best friend moved to Texas this year, a long ways away from me! I do have some really good friends who live closer to me though and it is nice.


  3. Oh friend.
    My heart is where yours is. My very best friend moved almost a year ago. She was the closest friend I had in a very long time. We told each other everything and never thought the other was crazy :) even though that's kinda silly, it was so important to me, like you said, to have a friend who you could be open and honest with, without fear of judgement. The blogging world couldn't have come at a better time for me in that sense. I have formed real friendships with a few girls, you being one of them. But I also long to have a friend I can actually hang out with.. grab coffee once a week and just share life. I wish we lived near each other and as much as you want friends with kids.. I could use some without only because that's where I am right now. I want you to know, I am here in the meantime.. even though I am far away. I PROMISE not to judge you or think differently of you, trust me, I have enough of my own issues to do that to anyone else. I promise to be real in whatever way I can. Praying you will find a friend who you can share life with.

  4. honestly i don't really have that many friends at all. the one friend i hang out with here has 4 kids and we usually do dinner with her family and my boyfriend. we are pretty much like family.

    other than that i have a few friends but they all live in different states. and i really only talk to two of them. i have a ton of acquaintances but no real friends.

  5. I understand this completely! I have so many amazing friends but not so many that are in the same stage of life that I am or that live nearby. One of my best friends from college lives just a street or two over from me now, but I'm in the stage of life where we're expecting our first kiddo. We don't go out like we used to. If we did I couldn't and wouldn't drink like we used to... But she and her fiance are not in that life stage. It's strange how just a simple change in life circumstances can change a friendship. We're still best friends, we just don't have a whole lot in common right now. Another of my best friends is in the same stage of life but she lives an hour away. I only get to see her on occasion. It's hard too because my sister in law has lived here for years so I see her with lots of girlfriends doing girls nights and lunches and things, but I don't have that and to be honest it makes me feel a little jealous, which is NOT a good thing. Anyway, just wanted you to know you're not alone and I hope we BOTH find some good friends nearby.

  6. I totally know what you mean, Kass. Lately I have been missing college and living with all of you. I definitely took it for granted that I had loving friends (even if we had our troubles) around me every day. Friendships are different over the distance. Having friends in your close geographical area is a blessing. I am praying that God will give me those friendships in my "new" home and I will be praying for the same thing for you as well.

  7. It is so hard to maintain friendships as moms! Locally, I have one friend that lives about 45 minutes away but that's really the closest. Our town is so small and I just don't seek out other women here. Hang in there, though!

  8. I understand your yearning friend! I know exactly how you feel. I have very limited friendships, especially local mom friends. Thank goodness for blog friends!


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