I've been the mama

I'm currently reading the book Desperate and absolutely loving it.

It is exactly what I've needed to feel uplifted and encouraged. 

I started reading this yesterday and found myself able to relate right away. 

It has been so nice to read the words of other mamas and not feel so darn alone.

I couldn't believe what I was reading, I so often felt like I couldn't have written the words myself.

As I read more tears kept on welling up in my eyes, realizing that I'm not the only one who finds motherhood to be so incredibly hard. 

Are you feeling alone as a mama? Do you feel like you're the only one that struggles with it?

Read on, dear friend, and maybe you can see some of yourself in my words. 

The mama I have want to be and the mama I often am are so different...

I've been that mama who wanted to pull the covers over her head and never come out.

I've been that mama who has thought, "I cannot be a mama today."

I've been that mama who has just been too tired. 

I've been the mama who thought being a mama was all about perfection.

I've been that mama who thought I had to be put together all the time, along with my home.

I've been that mama who has yelled at her kids more in one day than I want to admit.

I've been that mama who has gone and sat in her closet, hands over her ears, just to escape the crying. 

I've been that mama who spanked out of anger.

I've been that mama who has failed at discipling because I just didn't know how and sometimes didn't want to.

I've been that mama who hasn't loved enough. 

I've been the mama who hasn't taken time for herself, her husband, or friends.

I've been that mama who has screamed at the top of her lungs, "STOP IT!" because I was frustrated with my toddlers lack of obedience.

I've been that mama whose let my child watch way too much tv.

I've been that mama who has let my child eat a horrible lunch because I just wanted him to eat something.

I've been that mama who has said things she shouldn't have.

I've been that mama who hasn't hugged her babies, kissed her babies, nearly as much as I should.

I've been that mama who has wanted to run away.

I've been the mama who hasn't tried to listen or understand enough.

I've been that mama who is afraid, so afraid of messing up her kids.

I've been that mama who has felt depressed and alone. 

I've been the mama who hasn't prayed enough. 

I've been that mama who hasn't felt good enough to be a mama.

I've been a mama who has been desperate

I have been that mama and will still be that mama at times. 

There is grace for that...

And I am a mama who is thankful for that. 

If you feel like me, mama, know you're not alone. 

Know that there are other mama's just like you that get it,

But know more importantly, there is a God who can (and wants) to carry you through motherhood.

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Want to have another mama to talk to?
I know its hard to find that for some.
I'm hear if you need anything, just reach out.