As a mama do you ever feel

...like you make things harder for yourself?

Lately, that's how I've been feeling. 

I love my son so much...its a love I can't explain or even understand for that matter, 

but sometimes motherhood frustrates me, leaves me exhausted.
I think that's just how it is because it takes so much from you - mentally, physically, emotionally, spiritually. You have to give your all to a little person who really is jut focused on himself.

Sometimes the frustrating things, the exhausting things aren't my fault. 

But you know what? Sometimes they are! 

Sometimes I cause more frustration, exhaustion, stress for myself! 

I'm more of those things when I don't get enough sleep.

Its my fault because I don't go to bed at a good time. 

Or I give him a juice box in his car seat, knowing that he is going to squeeze it or throw it.

Or I let him throw things down the stairs because I'm too exhausted to care at the moment, but soon find myself frustrated with him.

Completely my fault. 

I know there are other issues... that sometimes I let him get away with things because I am exhausted from this pregnancy. I also have come to the realization that its hard for me to discipline him because

he's my little boy, but I need to work on these things! 

So I'm starting to change things because its whats best for us.

Discipling him is hard and probably always will be, but he needs his parents to do this.

Its the best way we can show him we love him.

 -- Just as I finished typing this, I realized my baby boy is 18 months today! Oh, my goodness! --