I'm a wife and a mother, but is that all I am?
That sounds awful... but please don't read it that way.
It is what I love.
It is what I am meant to be.
I wouldn't change it for the world.
But is there more to me than that?
Honestly, there are moments when it doesn't feel that way.
Moments when I just want 30 minutes to myself to read, to sleep, to listen to the quiet!
Moments when the screaming and crying makes me feel as if I am going to snap.
Moments when I just don't want to be bothered.
Apart of me feels like I don't know myself.
Who am I, other than a wife and mother?
Because I know there is more to me, but what?
I'm a woman who loves Jesus even though I don't (most often) spend enough time with Him. I love to read. I used to be able to read all day long and I would do that now if I had the chance. I miss sleeping. Oh, I miss sleeping! I used to sleep too much, but now its a 6:30am wake up call! I'm not going to complain about that too much though because husband got up with Braden Saturday and Sunday and I got to sleep! It was glorious! I love my friends and I miss them dearly. I wish we weren't all so spread out, but I know that is His plan for us right now. I am a woman who loves and adores both her husband and baby.
I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, with anyone else...but sometimes I do need a bit of alone time just to think and relax. Sometimes I just need to be alone.
Please tell me I'm not the only one with these thoughts!
You are definitely not alone!! Sometimes I get so frustrated about not having any "me" time that hubs will find me crying when he walks through the door. But like you, I love being a mom and a wife, there's just more that I need. I need to be ME sometimes too. :) and there's nothing wrong with that. :)
ReplyDeleteDigger
Oh my goodness. I could have written this pretty much word for word. Lately, I have been struggling with this a lot! I feel like I have lost "me". I wouldn't trade being a mommy for anything in the world but I have lost track of myself in the process.
ReplyDeleteYes there is more to your life than this! But it's so natural to feel this way, being a wife and a mother are tremendously pressure filled and stressful even though it's also beautiful. I think one thing that us women forget is that being a mother and wife is not our only purpose. we have to figure a way to get into ministry of some sort, or use our other gifts for the Kingdom. We are here for God's purpose solely, and that looks different to so many people. Give yourself some time, and space and the freedom to feel this way once and a while, your under grace, and it's healthy to move in and through these feelings! Have you ever read "The Purpose Driven Life"? By Rick Warren, it's old now but still so so good!
ReplyDeleteJust like "digger" said in her comment, I feel the same way about not having "me" time and feel overwhelmed, that my husband will find me crying when he gets. Mostly because I am so relieved to have some help, and then because I just can't take it anymore.
ReplyDeleteI think 99% of moms feel this way!