Tuesday, November 8, 2011

A mama's fear (and a winner)

We all have fears. I think a lot of those times those fears aren't something that would actually occur, but still they are there. I have a fear that is new to me since becoming a mother. I fear that somehow my son is going to get hurt. I know he will get hurt in life because thats what happens. I cannot (and should not) protect my son from every little thing. Getting hurt is how we learn sometimes. By hurt though, I mean, horribly. I actually have vivid images in my head of this happening. I've yet to determine if thats normal or not.

My biggest fear is that he's going to be taken. I think I fear this because I see it so often.
Right now, theres a baby girl my sons age missing in Kansas City. She's been missing for over a month.
I cried in our bed over this. I cried saying, "I don't want anyone to take my baby!" I was so upset by this that my husband brought him into our bed for a while. Its a fear that I am sure would never happen, but it breaks my heart to think about it.

I also have other images in my head of him getting hurt.
Right now we're living in a place where at the bottom of the stairs there is concrete. 
I fear him falling down the stairs. I fear him not making it because of that.

The list goes on and on.
I tell you this for two reasons...
Maybe another mama can relate.
But mostly, I tell you this because of how I deal with it. 
I TURN TO God with these images, with this worry.
Because that is what I HAVE TO DO. 
I put them out of my head and out of my heart.
I GIVE THEM to God. 
I TRUST HIM with my son because after all, He is the one who is in complete control.
He has my son IN HIS HANDS.
I AM AT PEACE when turning to Him with this.
Giving these thoughts to Him means I am FREE from them! 
They don't have to stick around and haunt me.
I do not have to worry!

Dear God, I know You are constantly watching over my son. 
I know You love him and protect him always.
I cannot thank You enough for this! 
Thank You for taking this worry from my hands and holding it in your own!


The winner of the Shabby Apple Giveaway is Linda Yan (I used the true random generator...I'd post it, if I knew how!)
Congrats! I will email you soon!


  1. i think a lot of us mamas can relate to this. I used to work in a childrens hospital helping children and families cope after their lives were changed from either terrible illnesses or horrific accidents. Unfortunately it put in me that terrible fear of something happening to my children someday, but until I had Abigail I didnt really understand the actual FEAR that I would come against. My husband has had to bring her to our bed a few times too :). But I think in the end, if we truly believe that our God, our FATHER, is GOOD...then we can let go a little of that fear. Ive posted about this before, about Abigail falling, and about her being pushed by a little boy....I felt so out of control, but in both those incidents, He protected her completely. And even if something bad did happen, I want to be in a place with Him that I know He has her best interest (and mine) at heart...because he is GOOD. Thanks for sharing and linking up today...love to you girl!

  2. I have a vivid imagination and fears like the ones you describe threaten me often. It is not uncommon for me to get wrapped up in these images until all of a sudden I find that I am planning a funeral in my head for my husband or one of my children, 2 or 3 times a week. Some of it is normal, but some of it is the enemy knowing your weaknesses. But the enemy doesn't want us to pray, so if his tactics just force you to pray more and pray harder, then eventually he'll back down.

    I love the last line "taking this worry from my hands and holding it in your own" beautiful imagery.

  3. This is an incredible post!! Thank you for sharing it! Seriously I love it especially the Prayer to God in the end. Perfection! Also, thank you for the comment over on my blog. And OF COURSE we'd be friends in real life, that's why we blog, cause our "real friends" don't always live next door. ;)

    Digger ~xoxo~


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