Broken, but thankful

This is me. 

On the outside I may look well put together, but on the inside, not so much. 

On the inside I feel...

Broken

Messy

Hurt

a lot of the time.

I struggle with a lot...

My past

Fear

Not feeling good enough

My weight

Not being content 

Today I'm really aware of these struggles, today I am aware of how strongly I feel broken, hurt and messy because of these things. 

My past at times, can creep up out of nowhere and leave my whole body feeling depressed.

I fear losing my child in some way or having him call someone else "mama".

Everyday there is something that tells me I am not good enough - it may be tv, music, the internet, or even words spoken to me or actions towards me.

Somedays clothes don't fit or feel right.

A lot of the time I want to be somewhere else... somewhere alone, for myself, just for a while...to sit, to breathe, to be. Or somewhere, where my husband can live his dream. 

I've been going over these things in my head. These things that leave me feeling horrible and I know that if I were THANKFUL, even if that didn't make things go away, I'd feel better.

So, today, I choose to be thankful for these things.

My past is not who I am, but brought me to where I am! 

My child is in God's hands and he will call me "mama" when he's good and ready!

I am good enough because God doesn't make anything that isn't good enough! 

My clothes will fit one day, but it takes time!

I am where I am for a reason! We are where we are for a reason!

Thanks God for opening my eyes. 

Thanks for reminding me that things aren't so bad and that I should be thankful regardless!