Week 23

Week 23. I cannot believe it.

I was talking to my husband this evening about how quickly this is going.

Soon it will be week 25 

And after that week 30 

And then less than 10 weeks Maeva will be here because of having a c-section. 

I'm a bit overwhelmed by it, but at the same time very excited. 

I'm looking forward to seeing her sweet face and holding her.

I can't wait to see James with her and how Braden will respond.

It's all so exciting.

Yet, this whole pregnancy thing is hard.

I've reached the point where I'm not feeling so great about my body. 

I feel huge, but I know I haven't really reached the point where I feel like I'm about to pop. 

I haven't reached the point where I feel like a whale and nothing fits.

I'm dreading that.

I've just reached the point where I feel like my face is fat and am worried about my weight.

I hate those things... how they can rob the joy of this. 

I know those things don't really matter.

All that really matters is being healthy and having her.

All of this... the hardness of pregnancy... it is completely worth it because of her. 

I know that and I tell myself to remember that. 

Thank You Lord for the fact that I am able to carry this precious little girl, this daughter of Yours.

Thank You for this pregnancy being healthy and going well. I love that she is growing well and her kicks... oh, they are wonderful and getting stronger. I am thankful for it all Lord. Help me with my insecurities. Help me to know deep in my heart that all that matters is having her, but mostly that my worth doesn't lie in anything other than You. Not in how I look during pregnancy, not how I feel about my body, my weight, not about anything other than You. Thank You Lord. Amen.

It's a...

Yep, that's right, we are having a girl!
I thought for sure we were having another little boy, whom would have been loved just as much.
But we are very excited about welcoming a baby girl into the world at the end of August!

I'm thankful that James and I were able to agree on a name.

Maeva Renae Rew. 

I can't wait to...

See her,

Hold her,

Kiss her.

A perfect addition to our family.

I think someone may be a bit jealous when she arrives.
He's such a mama's boy.
I'm not sure he'll know how to handle a little girl!

I can't wait until he starts to understand more about the baby in my belly.

I'm sure he will love her just as much as we do.

Worry

I'm a worrier. I always have been, but most of my life the things I've worried about have been me focused. I worried about my heart when it was broken and if the tears would ever stop, if I'd ever feel whole again. I worried about friendships and whether I was being the friend I should be. I worried about college and what I'd do afterwards. Not that I didn't worry about other people... I have, to the point where its made me sick, but mostly I was focused on my life and how I was feeling about whatever was going on. But that changed. You know when? When I became a mother... when I had my son growing inside of me...that is when the worry shifted from me to him. 

The worry is still there. I'm sure that it will be there for a long time because I'll always be a mother and isn't that what comes along with motherhood? Watching your child at the park worrying that he's going to fall and hurt himself, worry that he isn't eating enough, worrying that the diaper rash will never go away, sleepless nights just worrying. Soon enough I'll have two little ones to worry about, but my worry right now is focused on my son. 

When this little one comes into the world, what about him? 

I love him so much. How could I love another as much? Will I have enough to give? 

I know its silly because of course, the answer is, there is enough love. I will have enough. 

I'm worrying just like every other mama who is expecting there second baby. 

That gives me comfort, but still I wonder...

Will I get to hold him just as much?

Will there be time to play with him and enjoy him?

Will I take the time to look at him and still see the joy?

Or will I just have to focus on the new baby? 

Because I want that and I look forward to it.

I'm so excited for the baby...so so excited. 

Yet, I want to still experience my son as much as I am now. 

I know its just worry... that things will be different, but still good. 

I know that I need to trust God.

 He's given me Braden to love and He's giving me this one to love as well. 

 It will all be okay simply because of that.

 God is in this. 

God, thank You for giving me my family and these babies.They are wonderful.

I know You know the future and all that it will be, so please let me find peace in that.

Amen.

Goals for a healthy pregnancy (input wanted)

I want this pregnancy to be different than my last. Not that my last was bad...it wasn't, but I know this one can be healthier. When I was pregnant with Braden I really ate whatever I craved and because of that I put on more weight than I should have. I think that happens a lot during first pregnancies because you just don't know much. Its so much easier to put it on than get it off. I know that weight gain shouldn't be the only reason for my goals, but being honest here, that does scare me. I was never one to struggle with my weight until after having my sweet boy. There's more to it though. I know it will not only benefit me, but it will benefit the little one growing inside me as well. 

So, lets talk about some goals: 

I will eat well this pregnancy. This is hard simply because of cravings. I'm super bad at self control, but I am trying and I desperately want to succeed. At this point in my pregnancy its been hard to eat much of anything because the morning sickness has been hard, but I'm striving to eat more fruit and veggies, which I do love, so that's not really much of an issue. Truthfully, I'm unsure of what to eat, especially when it comes to lunch and dinner. I snack well, but other than that its a struggle. I think I may start a food diary... will help me keep track of what I'm feeding my baby!

Drink more water. I've never been a fan of water, but I know I need it. My first pregnancy I drank coke and my doctor told me that it probably didn't help with the weight gain. So no more coke! I usually have one caffeinated drink a day - a coffee, but other than that I need to fill myself with milk, juice, but mostly water! 8+ glasses a day! 

Exercise. Gosh, even that word hurts to type. Working out has never been something I've loved, but that is going to change! I am determined! For my birthday my husband got me a twister stepper, which is a huge motivation. Its sort of like a smaller vision of an elliptical, which I actually like. When the weather is nicer I know as a family we'll do more - going on walks and bike rides. That also motivates me because we'll be doing it as a family. 

Rest. Being pregnant the second time around is so much more tiring than I thought it would be! I've been pretty good at resting when the toddler does and I'm definitely going to make it a priority because a cranky, tired mama isn't good for anyone! ;) 

So, tell me, lovely readers what other goals should I have?
What did you do in order to have a healthy pregnancy?

And whats your favorite healthy thing to eat while pregnant?

Any thoughts and encouragement welcome!

Learning about the second bump

I'm learning somethings this pregnancy. 

I'm learning that every pregnancy is different (I already knew this, really, but its being confirmed).

I'm learning that ...

The second time around the your bump appears faster. I totally didn't expect to look 5 months pregnant at 9 weeks. I'm trying to be okay with that. 

Morning sickness can last all day, everyday. 

Ones bladder is way weaker the second time. I can only imagine how often I'm going to have to go to the bathroom as this baby grows. 

Being pregnant when you have a toddler is exhausting. Props to the moms who have more than 1 and are pregnant. Not sure how you do it. You must be super mom! 

And finally I'm learning that its just as exciting the second time around is just as exciting as the first!

I can't believe I'm going to be a mom of two! 

Two whole babies that are mine to love and squeeze.

God is so good to me.