Thankful for him

^^^photos taken by a family friend. thank you!^^^

Being a wife and mother is hard, but so is being a dad! 

I'm feeling thankful for this guy today... 

the roles he has in my life as my husband and as the kids dad.

I'm thankful that he's loved me from the beginning, despite me trying to not let him ;) 

I'm thankful that he stood by my side after I got pregnant with Braden. 

You know, a lot of guys wouldn't....they'd run.

But he stood there, still telling me he wanted to marry me. 

Yep, he was telling me he wanted to marry me before that.

I thought he was crazy. I thought it couldn't be true, but it was. 

I'm thankful that he's put up with me through all the ups and downs. 

There's been lots of those, but there he is still firm by my side.

I know he'll always be there and love me no matter what. 

He still loves me regardless of my faults, regardless of how un-kind I can be. 

That's a lot to be thankful for!

^^^such a happy bunch!^^^

I'm thankful that he works so hard to support us. 

To give us things we need, but also things we want.

It's allowed me to stay home with the crazies and I treasure that! 

I'm thankful that he's present in our kids lives because as I know, 

and many of us do, not all dad's are their for their kids. 

He loves them more than anyone ever could and was made to be their dad. 

I'm glad he's here for the good and bad times wit them, for the crazy times. 

I'm so happy that he hugs, kisses, and plays with them. 

I'm thankful that he's their dad 

because really no one could do a better job at being their dad! 

So much to be thankful for in this man! 

I'm glad God blessed us with him! 

We love you! 

Ya just gotta take a chill pill

^^^Stolen from my hubby's Instagram^^^

Okay, I don't actually take chill pills,
but sometimes I'm sure people think I'm crazy and need a pill or two.
I just want to be honest here today
and tell you that some days my attitude is less than pleasant.
Actually, I feel like that is a BIG FAT understatement.
The last few months, years, or I don't know how long.
my attitude has been completely awful.
I've been moody, mean, and angry. Really angry.
I think a lot of it has had to do with adjustment.
It's hard adjusting to having babies, for me anyway.
You have to sacrifice a lot, which I am not complaining about,
but that's harder some days than others.
A lot of those feelings, I believe, also come from stress.
There's so many stressors in life.
Kids can stress you out in general.
The fits make me anxious.
Trying to figure out how to deal with those and parent makes me anxious.
Having babies can put stress on a marriage too.
It changes it quiet a bit.
Plus trying to get on the same page as one another when it comes to parenting.
Then, there's not getting the chance to spend alone time together like you used to.
There's other things too that can be stressful.
Work. Money. Family drama. House stuff. Emotional baggage.
On and on the list could go.
I'm pretty certain everything could stress you out if you let it.
I haven't ever really been good at handling stress or my emotions.
I think a lot of these things piled up and made me extra cranky and extra mean.

The other day I was being a jerk to my husband.
Sadly, he gets that a lot because for some reason it just get easy to lash out at him.
I know I'm not the only wife that struggles with this.
It pretty much sucks for everyone though.
I don't like lashing out at him and he certainly doesn't enjoy it either.
Plus, I know the kids can sense it all as well.
So, I decided that I just needed to chill the heck out.
I needed to take a chill pill. I needed an attitude adjustment.
Now, I've known this before, but didn't really make an effort to change.
I don't know why this is.
I think maybe that at times its easier to just be moody.
It takes of an effort and work to change,
but I thought about it a lot.
I knew that if I didn't want to live life like this, then I would have to make an effort.
And I don't want to have a life full of being rude to my husband.
That would not leave us with satisfying and godly life or marriage.

So, I've been trying harder.
With my husband and my kids.
To stress less. To yell less.
To be nice with my words and actions.
To chill the heck out and just have a better attitude.
I'm not perfect, but it's feeling a lot better.

Do you struggle with this?
Hoping this is encouraging to someone!
Lots of times in life I think we just have to change our attitude.
It can make a huge difference!

If tomorrow were my last day

If tomorrow were my last day I'd want to spend every moment with my husband and kids.

If tomorrow were my last day I'd wake before the sun.
I'd lie next to my husband and put my arm around him, remembering his warmth.
When he woke up I'd tell him that I was so thankful God brought him to me.
That I loved him more than anyone in the entire world,
that I was so thankful to him for giving me my children
and making it possible for me to stay home with them.
I'd tell him that was the best gift he could have ever given me.
We'd lay in bed until we heard the kids rise.

If tomorrow were my last day we would go to breakfast as a family,
at Starbucks, of course! Because it's our favorite! ;)
The kids would have juices boxes and banana bread and so would we,
but with iced white mochas, of course.
Then, we would take a walk along a grassy trail.
I would hold my husband's hand, have Sutton in the carrier,
and we would watch Braden and Maeva run free, laugh and play.
My husband and I would talk about the life we've lived together.
We'd recall how we used to go on walks before we started dating,
just to get to know one another.
I would mention how I wish we did that more, together and as a family.
We would talk about getting pregnant with Braden before being married,
but how it ended up being perfect, as did life with every baby afterwards.
We would talk about marriage and how it wasn't always easy.
There were ups and downs, but those seasons made us stronger and made our love grow.
We would tell each other we loved each other with every word we spoke.

If tomorrow were my last day the day would be full of our favorite things.
We would play outside in the backyard running around and laughing.
I would help Maeva down the slide
and when Braden got into the wagon and said, "Pull me mommy!",
I would without hesitation!
I would hold Maeva as much and she wanted and Sutton too.
And I would paint with cars right along side Braden,
talking about all the colors and how fun it is.
I would read book after book to Maeva until she decided she had enough.
And I would get down on the floor playing trains with Braden,
as he told me who they were.
We would all sit on the couch, all snuggled up to one another as closely as we could.
We would watch Finding Nemo, Barney, Care Bears,
or even the Christmas movie, if that is what the kids chose.

If tomorrow were my last day I would hold Sutton as she slept.
I'd stroke her face and kiss her cheek.
I would hold her little hand
and tell her that mommy loved her more than words could say.
I would pull Maeva into my lap and tickle her feet as she sat still,
the only way she does when I'm doing that.
I would give Braden as many kisses and hugs as he asked for.
I'd even steal a few when he didn't.
I would kiss my husband even more and sit close to him.
I would tell them all that I loved them as much as I could eve though I know it could never be enough.

If tomorrow were my last day,
I would look at my family and try to remember every inch of them.
I would remind myself to remember that...
Braden's eyes are different than any I've ever seen.
I would remind myself to remember...
the way Maeva's hair curls and how to strokes it when she's tired.
I would remind myself to remember...
Sutton's smile and how beautiful it is.

If tomorrow were my last day I wouldn't waste it,
with yelling it at my children or snapping at my husband.
If tomorrow were my last day I wouldn't worry about house work
or being caught up on the internet.
If tomorrow were my last day I would focus all of it on my family.

And if tomorrow were my last day I'd take pictures all along the way,
just so my husband and children could remember how perfect my last day was.

What would your day look like if tomorrow were your last day?

Linking up with a fresh start on a budget for the blogging every day in April challenge. 

30 weeks

The baby bump turned 30 weeks on Thanksgiving! 

Which means on Thursday I will be 31 weeks with only 8 weeks to go until baby! 

We are so thankful for this baby growing inside me and for our family all together. 

Being parents & being pregnant is hard, but we are truly blessed by it! 

We cannot believe how quickly time is going and how soon we will be a family of 5! 

Very much excited for it and a bit nervous too because it will be a change. 

It won't always be easy, but it will be good. 

With each of our children, we know they were just meant to be. 

Always meant to be by God and our lives will forever be changed because of them. 

It will be no different with the sweet one growing inside. 

Being thirty weeks pregnant is HARD. 

Not that I've forgotten that pregnancy gets difficult, 

but I think preggo brain made me forget some! ;)

I feel massive and know there's probably lots more growing that will be done. 

Everything feels achy and swollen. 

My back hurts and bending over simply isn't going to happen much longer! 

I'm trying to rest more and think of things I need to do before Sutton comes. 

Also, thinking about her sweet face and wondering what she'll look like. 

I'm sure so much like her brother and sister! 

We cannot wait (well… I'm sure Braden and Maeva can because its going to change their world)!

59 days and counting! 

Saying "I DO" again!

Our anniversary was on August 7th. We've been married for three years. 

This year we decided to say our vows in the Catholic Church,

since we didn't get married in the church before.

I think it was a good reminder to us both, about what marriage really is. 

We're to love God and love each other. 

Those are the most important things in marriage. 

I know I need that reminder a lot because I'm not always good at loving. 

Today I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from that day. 

The one above is clearly from the ceremony, which was super simple. 

We dressed nicely and had a very small amount of family there. 

That was about it. Most of my favorite pictures are after the actual ceremony. 

Enjoy! =)

I love having pictures of special moments in our lives. 

They are super important to me and I'm thankful for a husband who goes along with it even if it's not something he exactly loves! ;)

Pictures taken by Songbird Photography.

A lie I've believed

There's something that's been on my heart lately when it comes to blogging.
I write these words not just for myself, but for others as well.
Just I case someone can relate, just incase someone is struggling with the same thing.

There's a lie that I've boughten into when it comes to blogging.
The lie is that I'm not good enough.
I, at times, especially lately have felt that way.
I'm not good enough because I don't have as many followers as her
Or my blog doesn't look professional enough.
I struggle with feeling ordinary and boring.
I've caught myself thinking that a lot lately.
I must be boring because I don't have as many blogging friends as her,
I don't go to all these events,
Or I don't have all these neat topics to write about.
I'm not as good as her because I don't have a professional taking my pictures
or I can't go buy new clothes or the newest gadget whenever my heart desires.
Lies, lies, lies!

I don't know how I came to believe this.
I think it's been building up for a while now,
because the truth is when I started blogging I didn't even care about those things,
at least not the way I seem to now!
Blogging, for me, was never about those things.
It was about writing for me and my family.
It was about keeping an online journal of the life I live and if people wanted to read it, great!
If not, that's fine because this is my life and regardless of what others think of my life, I love it!

More importantly than others thinking I'm enough, Go does!
I know that God loves me.
To Him, I am important, beautiful, and more than enough.
I struggle with feeling at peace in the blogging world and here in this space.
I'm asking Him right now to give me peace here...
with what I have in my life and with my words.
Because peace from God and being thankful for what I have is what really matters to me.

If you struggle with this, please read these words and hold onto them.
You are enough to God. He is the only one you need to please.
Remember that and hold tight to it, friends!

God, Family, and Blogging

I've been struggling with blogging lately. 

I used to blog almost daily, but then I had a newborn + a toddler.

Most of the time it just wasn't possible.

There have been times when I've really missed blogging,

But other times when I've seriously thought about giving it up. 

A while ago I wrote about being addicted to the internet 

And how I feel felt like it took away from things.

I felt like it took away from my time with God, 

focusing on my children and husband, and the apartment. 

That's what the internet does and I feel like for me, it always will be an issue. 

Later I wrote about being on the computer less and I was.

Was I perfect? No. Was I where I wanted to be? No. But it was better.

That's why I've thought about giving up blogging + the guilt.

Part of me feels like I've abandoned my blog & blogging friends.

I don't post as often as I would like or as much as I feel I should. 

I rarely get to read other blogs and if I do, I rarely have time to leave comments.

I hardly ever respond to comments left on my blog. I feel so bad about that!

I tell myself I'll get better, I want to get better!
There never seems to be enough time or coffee! ;) 

I struggle with these feelings, but I also know that life isn't about blogging. 

Life is about living for God and doing what He places on my heart to do. 

There's a lot to learn from God and I am trying to get back to a good place with Him.

Life is about Him and my family.
That's what I'm trying to focus on.

All this to say I'm sorry I haven't been around much.

I'm sorry I don't post often or read your blogs the way I have before!

Gosh, I sure miss reading blogs!

I'm sorry for not commenting or responding to your nice words.

Please know they mean much and warm my heart! They make my day!

My addiction

I have an addiction. 

It is one that takes away from things.

It takes away from the house being clean -- always dishes, always laundry to do.

It takes away from time with my kiddos, husband, and God. 

At times it makes me feel gross inside -- empty and worn out. 

This addiction, its the internet. 

Its become so easy to always be connected to the internet. 

Not only do I have my macbook, but I also have my kindle fire and cell phone. 

No matter what I'm doing, no matter where I am, I always have the internet at my finger tips. 

There's always a facebook status, tweet, or blog post to check out. 

There's always some new article to read or something to google. 

All of this...

My need to always be checking these social networking sites, has left me wanting to quit. 

Left me wanting to quite facebook, twitter, blogging. 

I love to blog, but sometimes I feel like it takes too much, for me. 

I find myself thinking in blog posts. 

"Oh, that'd be a good thing to write about."
"That'd be a good picture for a blog post."

Life shouldn't be lived in blog posts. It should be lived with my kids, husband, and God. 

I know this addiction is my fault. No one forces me to be involved in these things. 

The conclusion I've come to, 

through what I feel is conviction from God, 

is that something needs to change.

I haven't been blogging that much because...

Well, I haven't really had the time and also because of this conviction. 

Blogging is going to look different for me.
I'm not going to put pressure on myself to do it every day or even every week. 

Who cares if I lose followers. Its fun to gain them, but its not a reason to blog. 

So, I'm aiming, right this second to have more self control with this whole internet thing.

I want to be on the computer less and in my life more. 

Not only do I want to do this, I NEED to. 

It may mean not being on the computer some days at all (is that even possible?) ;)

Or just scheduling my time on the internet. 

I know this will be the best thing for me! 

Do you struggle with this? If so, what do you do about it? 

Newborn photo session

The weekend after Maeva was born we got the chance to take newborn pictures.
The same friend that took our maternity photos also took these.
I'm in love with them and excited to share them with you!
Check out more of her photos - here.

Thankful

^^^ Maeva at 2 days old^^^

I didn't plan on starting up on blogging right away and maybe it won't be an every day thing, but I do enjoy it and I do feel like it today, so here I am!

I'm overwhelmed today by so much. Overwhelmed by love for my little family... 

James, Braden, Maeva... I just love them so much, I'm sure that if love could make my heart explode, it surely would. I'm overwhelmed with thankfulness... there is so much to be thankful for! 

I'm thankful for Maeva and how perfect she is. So adorable and precious to my mama heart. 

I'm thankful for a great doctor and that the c-section went well. Thankful I'm recovering quickly.

Thankful for James and the fact that he is so caring and doing whatever I may need.

Cleaning, cooking, taking care of our babies, letting me nap. 

Thankful for parents, in laws, and grandparents who bring us food and buy us crock-pots! ;)

Thankful that they are willing to take care of our sweet big boy while we had our daughter.

Thankful that they are willing to come and play with him. 

Thankful that they love on him to show him that he is still just as loved. 

I'm thankful that Braden is adjusting well to his little sister.

That he wasn't too mad at us...

 for leaving him with grandma for a few days while we were at the hospital.

That does mean sleepovers for him in our bed though because he missed us so much! 

I'm thankful that my husband was able to take time off work and be home with us.
Thankful that we are able to just be a family for a few days before things go back to "normal." 

I wish this was our normal...him at home...always all of us together. 

I'm thankful that we were blessed with another baby. 

I was talking to James today and told him that when it was just him, Braden and I, it was perfect, but now with Maeva, its even more perfect.

I'm thankful that God trusts us with these little ones. 

I'm thankful for the life we have. 

Our babies.

Each other. 

Caring, loving people, around us.

Jesus... especially Him because of Him this is the life we have.