Why Whole30 Was Good For My Marriage

As many of you know my husband and I completed our first Whole30 on Monday.
There were many good changes that happened because of sticking with the Whole30 plan.
You can read it all including meal plans if you click Whole30.
In summary we lost weight, didn't feel as tired or sick, and just felt better.
Want to know the biggest change for me though? My mood changed!
That's why Whole30 was such a big deal to me and why it was good for my marriage.

I'm going to be as honest as I can in the post. 

I don't write a ton about marriage on here because it's something that is pretty private,

but I want to share my experience and maybe in doing that it will help someone else. 

In order to explain how and why Whole30 was good for my marriage 

and how it changed my mood, I really have to express how things were. 

Marriage isn't easy. Anyone who tells you different, well they aren't being honest.

It takes work. It takes communicating. It takes kindness, grace, forgiveness. 

I struggled with these things and had no idea why. I was moody pretty much 24/7. 

I would blow up and get pretty darn angry, without really knowing why or how to stop it.

I threw things (not at people) and wanted to punch things. 

I yelled a lot and often wanted to run away. 

I didn't want to be touched or even talked to sometimes. 

I was irritable constantly and sometimes I'd start to cry and hyperventilate because of it. 

I would get upset with my husband for little things 

and they'd end up turning into something bigger.

When we fought I'd feel waves of depression hit me,

 thinking, "we aren't going to survive this!" 

I was a mess and it all was feeling pretty dang miserable! 

Flash forward to doing the Whole30 challenge! 

The first week I was cranky because taking away food that you're used to and love, is hard! 

My husband even told me I wasn't being nice. 

However, as the weeks wore on my mood changed. 

It's like I did a complete 180 when it came to my moodiness and irritability. 

I didn't find myself getting as angry or blowing up. 

Instead I was much better at talking to my husband about things that were upsetting me. 

I yelled a lot less and my desire to run away lessened 

(Hello, 3 kids 3 and under! sometimes I still wanna run ;)!

I didn't push my husband away or not want anyone talking to me. 

We rarely fought and I rarely cried. 

The thought that we weren't going to survive was completely gone 

and depression wasn't really sticking around!

I felt no desire to fight with my husband, whereas before I didn't feel like I could help it.

I honestly didn't feel like I could help any of how I was feeling before the Whole30. 

Needless to say my husband and I were both very surprised about this. 

It was the biggest change for us and made our marriage so much better! 

We laughed and joked around more. 

We enjoyed each other more. 

I felt more in love with him and he felt like I loved him more.

I felt like it was how marriage was supposed to feel. 

It was just such a good thing for us! 

We both knew that this was something we wanted to continue. 

We wanted my mood to always be more pleasant. =)

We wanted marriage to feel this way more so than miserable. 

Of course, we know that sometimes it will be hard. 

Marriage comes with ups and downs, 

but because of my mood it had been more down than anything! 

Neither of us realized that food was a big problem for me. 

I mean, we knew that I was an emotional eater, but didn't realize what it did to my mood! 

I was so shocked that the food I was eating could cause so much moodiness and anger! 

Because of this we've decided that eating the Whole30 way is super important to us. 

It's how we will eat a majority of the time.

However, I have wanted to see what food was causing me to be so unhappy. 

As part of the Whole30 you're suppose to reintroduce food to see how it affects you.

Well, the past two days I've tried a few things. 

I tried some milk and it just made me not feel great. 

Then I also had some sugar. 

Yesterday I had three chocolate chip cookies (that contained soy) 

and I have to tell you I was not the nicest person! 

I was moody, irritable, and cranky. 

I couldn't help it and went to bed in a bad mood, 

feeling horrible for how I was treating my husband. 

Needless to say husband said, "No more sugar for you!" Ha ha. 

I was really surprised that sugar affected me this way.

(Hey, it might even be the soy that was affecting me - need to check this out).

Now, will I never ever not have sugar again? No!

I like sugar and it's in everything, but it will be very, very limited. 

I may enjoy some ice cream every once in a while because I love it, 

but eating sugar and being a jerk to my husband is not worth it whatsoever! 

Do you struggle with moodiness and irritability? 

Do you feel depressed and like you have no control over your emotions?

Are you feeling miserable in your relationship or in relationships in general?

Maybe it has more to do with what you are eating, than anything else! 

I encourage you to try out this Whole30 thing. 

It can change your life in so many ways and 

maybe it's just what you need in order to do so! 

I am so glad that I did this challenge, not only because of losing weight,

but mostly because it helped my marriage so much! 

Please let me know if I can help you in any way. 

Feel free to reach out to me. I'll help in anyway I can or just lend an ear! 

Ya just gotta take a chill pill

^^^Stolen from my hubby's Instagram^^^

Okay, I don't actually take chill pills,
but sometimes I'm sure people think I'm crazy and need a pill or two.
I just want to be honest here today
and tell you that some days my attitude is less than pleasant.
Actually, I feel like that is a BIG FAT understatement.
The last few months, years, or I don't know how long.
my attitude has been completely awful.
I've been moody, mean, and angry. Really angry.
I think a lot of it has had to do with adjustment.
It's hard adjusting to having babies, for me anyway.
You have to sacrifice a lot, which I am not complaining about,
but that's harder some days than others.
A lot of those feelings, I believe, also come from stress.
There's so many stressors in life.
Kids can stress you out in general.
The fits make me anxious.
Trying to figure out how to deal with those and parent makes me anxious.
Having babies can put stress on a marriage too.
It changes it quiet a bit.
Plus trying to get on the same page as one another when it comes to parenting.
Then, there's not getting the chance to spend alone time together like you used to.
There's other things too that can be stressful.
Work. Money. Family drama. House stuff. Emotional baggage.
On and on the list could go.
I'm pretty certain everything could stress you out if you let it.
I haven't ever really been good at handling stress or my emotions.
I think a lot of these things piled up and made me extra cranky and extra mean.

The other day I was being a jerk to my husband.
Sadly, he gets that a lot because for some reason it just get easy to lash out at him.
I know I'm not the only wife that struggles with this.
It pretty much sucks for everyone though.
I don't like lashing out at him and he certainly doesn't enjoy it either.
Plus, I know the kids can sense it all as well.
So, I decided that I just needed to chill the heck out.
I needed to take a chill pill. I needed an attitude adjustment.
Now, I've known this before, but didn't really make an effort to change.
I don't know why this is.
I think maybe that at times its easier to just be moody.
It takes of an effort and work to change,
but I thought about it a lot.
I knew that if I didn't want to live life like this, then I would have to make an effort.
And I don't want to have a life full of being rude to my husband.
That would not leave us with satisfying and godly life or marriage.

So, I've been trying harder.
With my husband and my kids.
To stress less. To yell less.
To be nice with my words and actions.
To chill the heck out and just have a better attitude.
I'm not perfect, but it's feeling a lot better.

Do you struggle with this?
Hoping this is encouraging to someone!
Lots of times in life I think we just have to change our attitude.
It can make a huge difference!

The road that led me to this beautiful life

I'm a big believer in the saying, "Everything happens for a reason."
I just can't believe otherwise.
I may not know why certain things happened in my life.
I may never know, but I just have to believe that...
Every place I've been,
Every step I've taken,
Every choice I've made,
Every thing in my life has happened for a reason, has had meaning in it.

There have been many things in my life that have changed me.
I've struggled with depression and causing harm to myself.
I've been in an abusive relationship.
Those are two of the hard things, the things that are still hard to deal with.
But there's good things in my life too.
One thing that's been really life changing for me is becoming a Christian.
Other things have been meeting my husband and having babies.
Those things have changed my life so much.
Some in ways I wish they hadn't.
Some in ways I'm glad they did.
But you know what?
I wouldn't say they are the biggest thing that changed my life.
I would say, however, that my parents getting divorced when I was about two years old did.

My dad and I on my wedding day.

My mom and I. 

Maybe that sounds silly to read because all those things I listed before, 

the good and the bad, they were so life changing. 

However, I'd say my parents getting divorced is the biggest life changing moment

because it led me down the road to all those other moments. 

If my parents wouldn't have gotten divorced...

Maybe I wouldn't have struggled with depression or maybe I would have,

but I know it was part of the reason I did struggle with that. 

Maybe I would have thought better of myself

and not put up with the crap some of the guys I dated.

Maybe I wouldn't have a relationship with Jesus. 

Maybe I wouldn't have gone to Tabor and maybe it wouldn't have been so hard.

Maybe I wouldn't have the friends I do have.

Maybe my life would have been worse than it has been.

Maybe I wouldn't have met my wonderful husband or had three beautiful kids.

Maybe my life wouldn't be what it is. 

I used to struggle so much with my parents being divorced. 

I think it caused me to make a lot of the choices I did. 

I know it caused me to be angry with my dad for a long time. 

I know it also was the reason I ended up in bad relationships

because I just didn't know any better.

You know what though? I'm not bitter about it. A lot of it still hurts. 

My relationship with my dad is rough.

My past relationships can still affect me life. 

But I don't regret the road I've been on, 

the road that started when my parents got divorced, 

because I fully believe it led me to this life I live now and it's a beautiful one. 

My good looking husband and I on our wedding day! 

I'm linking up with a fresh start on a budget for the April blogging challenge.

Saying "I DO" again!

Our anniversary was on August 7th. We've been married for three years. 

This year we decided to say our vows in the Catholic Church,

since we didn't get married in the church before.

I think it was a good reminder to us both, about what marriage really is. 

We're to love God and love each other. 

Those are the most important things in marriage. 

I know I need that reminder a lot because I'm not always good at loving. 

Today I wanted to share some of my favorite pictures from that day. 

The one above is clearly from the ceremony, which was super simple. 

We dressed nicely and had a very small amount of family there. 

That was about it. Most of my favorite pictures are after the actual ceremony. 

Enjoy! =)

I love having pictures of special moments in our lives. 

They are super important to me and I'm thankful for a husband who goes along with it even if it's not something he exactly loves! ;)

Pictures taken by Songbird Photography.

Praying for a change of heart

I'm in need of a heart change, an attitude adjustment. 

I try to be a good wife, but so often I fall short. 

I'm negative, moody, naggy, and sometimes just plain mean. 

It's not fun for anyone. It's not uplifting or encouraging. 

It's weighing me down and hurting. 

I realize though, that I can't do this alone. 

I can't change my own heart or my own attitude, not by myself. 

Every time I try I fall short and then end up even more upset with myself.

I'm thankful for a husband who always forgives, but I want to do better.

So Lord, please come into my heart... draw near to me and help me draw near to you.

Change my heart and my attitude. 

Help me to be better with my actions and words.

Help me to love and pray more. 

To cling to and follow Your word more.

A whole lot more... 

Anniversary

Happy 2nd Anniversary to my wonderful husband! 

I can't believe its been two years because I remember it like it was yesterday. 

It's been two years of...

Love.

Good times and hard times.

A baby boy and a baby girl (soon)...

Traveling.

Flying.

Dreaming. 

Prayers. 

And so much more.

I love you James and am so glad I married you.

Thank you being a wonderful husband and loving me no matter what.

Change

"Seasons change" on pinterest via revelement.

I've been thinking about change a lot lately. 

Life is full of change and as much as we don't want it to happen, sometimes, we can't stop it.

Change is life. 

I've been thinking about all the ways life could change and its a lot.

My life could be completely changed tomorrow because I am in no way in control.

God is though and the changes He brings about will be right because He is right.

Dreams could come true or they couldn't. They could change too.

We could be here tomorrow or we could not be. 

Having a little girl in a few months will completely change things. 

That change freaks me out a bit, but I know that it will be an amazing change, even if its hard. 

"Change is good" on pinterest via tumblr.

I've been thinking a lot about all things I feel should change and all I want to change. 

I've been going through the devotional Soul Detox with the community on twitter 

and have realized how much God wants me to change in my relationship with Him, 

but also how He wants me to change when it comes to toxic thoughts and words in my life. 

For the first time in a long time... I couldn't even tell you how long...I'm reading the Bible daily

and am excited to do so! 

This, readers, is a good change! 

One of the best changes I could ever make.

This Bible study has made me realize how important my thoughts 

and words are not only for me, but for others in my life as well! 

If I change those things into healthy things, into life-giving things, things will change for the better.

Then, there's other things I want to change...

My parenting... how I discipline my son and how I'll discipline my daughter as well.

How I love them and spend time with them.

How I am a mother to them. 

My relationship with my husband. I want it to change and grow, like its suppose to.

I want my words and actions towards him to change, to be better.

I want to build him up and speak more kindly to him. 

I want to pull down the walls around my heart. I want to let people in. I want to trust people. 

"Change your world" on pinterest via the wellness warrior.

I want so much change in my life, which I think is a good thing because life is suppose to change.

I want my life to change the way God wants it to change. 

I know if I follow Him and allow the change He wants, work hard at it, then my world will change.

Life will be better. 

Change is hard. I fight it sometimes. I refuse it sometimes. 

With God's help, I hope I can change that too. 

What are some things in your life you'd like to change? How do you deal with change? 

Have any thoughts on the topic? These are just a few things that have been on my mind!

I'd love to hear what's on yours! =)

From my valentine

What I woke up to. So sweet. Thank you, my husband! 

I love you so much... I know I'm not always good at showing it, but its always there. 

Broken, but thankful

This is me. 

On the outside I may look well put together, but on the inside, not so much. 

On the inside I feel...

Broken

Messy

Hurt

a lot of the time.

I struggle with a lot...

My past

Fear

Not feeling good enough

My weight

Not being content 

Today I'm really aware of these struggles, today I am aware of how strongly I feel broken, hurt and messy because of these things. 

My past at times, can creep up out of nowhere and leave my whole body feeling depressed.

I fear losing my child in some way or having him call someone else "mama".

Everyday there is something that tells me I am not good enough - it may be tv, music, the internet, or even words spoken to me or actions towards me.

Somedays clothes don't fit or feel right.

A lot of the time I want to be somewhere else... somewhere alone, for myself, just for a while...to sit, to breathe, to be. Or somewhere, where my husband can live his dream. 

I've been going over these things in my head. These things that leave me feeling horrible and I know that if I were THANKFUL, even if that didn't make things go away, I'd feel better.

So, today, I choose to be thankful for these things.

My past is not who I am, but brought me to where I am! 

My child is in God's hands and he will call me "mama" when he's good and ready!

I am good enough because God doesn't make anything that isn't good enough! 

My clothes will fit one day, but it takes time!

I am where I am for a reason! We are where we are for a reason!

Thanks God for opening my eyes. 

Thanks for reminding me that things aren't so bad and that I should be thankful regardless!

My side of the story

A few weeks ago my husband wrote this post about the first night we'd met. 

I decided to write about the night from my view point. I wrote about it a bit here, but vaguely, so here I go into it a more deeply.

I was sitting outside AMC theater waiting for James, this guy I'd never met. I remember thinking how strange it was that I wasn't super nervous. I didn't quite understand because these things (as in meeting people I've never met before - especially a guy) normally made me nervous, so nervous that I usually refused. But with James, I didn't get that feeling. I sat there, just patiently waiting and then I saw him and he saw me. I got up to walk towards him and even before I got super close I remember thinking to myself, this guy is really good looking. I don't know why this took me by surprise - I mean, I'd seen his facebook (ha ha), but it didn't do him justice. We introduced ourselves and went to get our tickets. This was a bit awkward for me because before getting together we'd established that we were just hanging out as friends, so I was like is the guy going to pay and if so is this a date (this goes through every girl's head right...I'm not strange right)? He paid and we went to find our seats to view the movie Surrogates. We talked and talked. We talked about our families (how I had one sister and he had 9 other siblings), how we went to the same junior high and both grew up Catholic, and things we liked to do (for instance, he loves to fly). The movie started and it was awful. I'm pretty sure it was the first movie I've ever walked out of. After the movie we went to Old Chicago where we ordered a pizza and talked more about our lives. At one point he said, "you know this isn't a date right?" It was SO awkward. I, of course, said that I knew because well, any other thing would have just made it more awkward. He asked me, after dinner, if I'd like to go flying with him. I said I would and as we drove we talked more about this not being a date. I remember James saying something about how this may not be a date, but whenever guys and girls hang out it always seems like a date. Part of me laughed inside because I knew that this conversation was more then conversation or he wouldn't  be saying such things. When we got ready to fly James had to put fuel in the plane and he stepped up onto the side of the plan by my window. In that moment I knew I was in trouble. In that moment I knew I could fall for this guy and I could fall hard. It scared me. Its all I could think about while up in the air looking at the night down around us. Its all I could think about as he drove me back to my car. Its all I could think about as I quickly got out of his car and into mine to drive away. 

I thought about this night for a long time. I still do sometimes. 

The whole time we were going on "non-dates" I kept on thinking about this night and the moment I knew I could fall hard. I tried to fight it, I really did, but you can't fight what God has for you, you can't fight love.

(A picture from a recent date night)

Love you James Matthew Rew

Even then...

Right now I pray for...

Love

&
Understanding

Patience

&

Forgiveness

Grace

&

Hope

Things may be hard and tough.

I may feel like giving up sometimes.

Things may feel hopeless.

But with God, they aren't...

with a prayer I feel better. 

Anniversary

Today is our 1st Anniversary. I cannot believe its already been a year. It goes by so fast.

Its been a full year. Full of great times and hard times.

Theres been lots of growth and love. 

And even more times of needing to draw near to Jesus,

 as it is what keeps us going strong. 

Last night we got to go away, just the two of us for a whole night. 

It was interesting, leaving without our baby boy, but it was

definitely something we needed.  We got to stay at a super nice hotel 

and have a wonderful dinner. 

Heres a peak of somethings we enjoyed. 

The melting pot is so good. It was nice to dress up and go somewhere we don't go often! 

We chose to not do the whole meal because its so much food and we weren't super hungry.

First thing: Fiesta cheese. Its comes with chips, veggies, bread, and apples. I know it may seem weird to eat apples with cheese, but its so good!

Of course I had to have a strawberry margarita and they gave us champagne on the house.

It was a bit much, but good! 

And then my favorite part: Chocolate!

We had the s'more chocolate. Delicious.

Making the chocolate in the picture above!

The chocolate comes with so much: strawberries, bananas, cheesecake, rice crispy treats, orea marshmallows  brownie bites, pound cake....and you can get more!

We got more strawberries and bananas.

Definitely the best part of the meal!

Then we walked around and took some pictures and kissed, of course.

My husband is so good looking.

I'm lucky ;)

We went back to our hotel for a while and rested. Then went back out to walk around the Plaza at night. A lovely night for a walk.

Had to take a picture by a fountain.

Had some wine before bed. This was a gift from a friend for our wedding.

It has an engagement picture on it.

Cool, huh?

It was a great anniversary if I do say myself! I have a great husband and I am thankful we got to have some time for just us (I was so glad to see my baby this morning though)! Today we took some family pictures and just had time together. It was a good day. Family pictures will come tomorrow! 

I love you husband!

I look forward to many more years with you!

A challenge to myself.

Life is full of...

ups and downs,

success and failures,

joy and sadness,

aches and pains,

and so much more.

Life is full of so much. Its full of relationships whether they be relationships with

friends, family, acquaintances and sometimes a lot of the time relationships aren't simple, but rather difficult.

Relationships are full of...

ups and downs,

success and failures,

joy and sadness,

aches and pains, 

and so much more. 

Its one of the things I'm realizing about marriage. If anyone ever tells you that marriage is grand all the time or that its perfect, they are lying to you. I don't want to be one of those lying people, so here, I am telling you, that its hard. Since I started college, I've been making my own choices, mostly. I decided when to get out of bed, what I'd eat, who I'd hang out with, and where I would go. I know that some of these things may seem silly, but when you're used to deciding these things for yourself (and only for yourself) and you no longer have just you to decide for, its frustrating. Then you add parenting on top of it and that makes it even more difficult at times. 

Is it hard all the time? No? Sometimes its soooo good. 

Its nice knowing deep within your heart that God has placed you two together for a reason. Its a beautiful thing to have someone in your life that you know will always be by your side no matter what. 

Its great to wake up in the morning and have someone there. Its amazing to have someone to lean on and support you and vice versa. Marriage is a beautiful thing, but just like any commitment, it takes a lot of work and even more love. Its the same with parenting.

::Isn't my baby so little here? ;(:: 

I think its all about ones attitude and again, I won't lie, my attitude has been horrible lately. 

I've been moody and nagged a lot. I've let little, silly things get to me, and I've made a bigger deal out of things than I should have. Not to mention I haven't been the best at communicating things. So, heres my challenge to myself, for the week.... BE NICE TO MY HUSBAND, LOVE MY HUSBAND.

I love him with all my heart.

He is who God has given me.

A hard worker.

Dedicated.

Passionate.

Loving.

Honest.

So much more than what I imagined for myself.