Moments to remember

Do you ever have those moments, that in the moment,
you tell yourself that you want to remember this moment...
exactly how it is and how it makes you feel?

I do. I've had a lot of those with my son.
I want to remember the big moments and the small moments.
I wish I could remember them all.

When he was born and I first heard his cry. 

Oh, the joy and the tears.

When he rolled over, crawled, and took his first steps.

So exciting.

How he used to sleep on me after being nursed.

Oh, I miss napping with him. 

Singing to him before I put him into his crib.

"Rockabye baby on the tree top, when the wind blows...."

And how he lays his head on my shoulder, sometimes singing with me.

His laughter when kissing his belly

Or chasing him.

How he runs to stairs when he hears daddy come home.

So happy to see his daddy.

The feel of his head against my chest when he sat on my lap for a whole 15 minutes.

He wasn't fussy, he was just content.

That doesn't happen often enough.

The fact that he loves oreo cookies

And will go to the cabinet to get himself one.

His favorite stuffed bear

How he'll hug it and sleep with it

How he'll kiss it

How I used to have one just like it.

When I leave him for a bit...

How when I return, he smiles and reaches for me.

Bath time.
His favorite time.

So much splashing and squealing.

Being outside with him and how he just walks.

All he wants to do is walk and walk.

If you try to stop him or take him inside...he gets so upset. 

These moments and so many more... I want to remember. 

This moment will be all too fleeting

His cries. I wake, knowing that it is me that he needs. I gather him in my arms and pull him close, nursing him. Its not something I'd ever given much thought to it, before coming a mother, nursing that is (that is if I would or wouldn't when I became a mother). But I am in awe of it because not only did I give him literal life, but every day I give him life by giving him nourishment from my body. Its truly an amazing thing. 

He nurses for a while and I just stare at him in amazement. This boy, he used to be inside me, he used to be so tiny. At this moment, however, he doesn't seem to be so little anymore. He, I am sure, has tripled in size, he smiles, he makes much noise, he digs through a bin of toys, and he has so much hair on top of his little head! He is my baby boy, but just by stealing glances at him, I know that even though he will always be my boy, he won't be my little boy for long. 

He finishes eating and starts to drift to sleep. I think about putting him back in his crib, like I normally do, but this morning I don't want to. I hold him close for a while...knowing how special these moments are. I know I won't always be able to hold him like this. I know he won't always be this small. So, I snuggle close, wrapping my arms around him, and I savor this. I lay him down between his daddy and me and just stare at this beautiful family we have. I want to capture this moment in my heart forever. 

So, I grab my camera and snap a few pictures and I urge myself to remember this exact moment because one day, in the too close future, this will only be a memory I have to hold onto.