Out of control toddler

i love this boy with my whole heart.
he was my first baby, the one who made me a mama.
he's special in that way. lately though he's been driving me a bit bonkers.
his listening skills are in need of some major work.
he simply doesn't listen to me. whatsoever.
when i speak to him he pretends he doesn't hear me.
sometimes goes as far to put his hands over his ears.
he runs away. he throws himself on the floor. he screams and throws things.
he hits and kicks his sister.
he feels so out of control and i'm at a loss of what to do about it.

i try everything.
i talk calmly. i put in him in time out. i swat his bottom.
i try to redirect him. on and on the list goes, but nothing works when mom does it.
with dad it's a whole different story.
i feel like a big fat failure when it comes to this boy. 
he feels out of control to me and i pray this is just a phase.
i pray that we can figure this out because he feels out of control, but so do i.

i hate feeling out of control.
i hate feeling frustrated and angry.
i hate how i act during these times and i'm sure no one else likes it either.

motherhood is hard. can i get an amen? 

Parenting is painful

Parenting is painful. If you're a parent, you know that.
For me, I have moments where I think, "Oh, this hurts."
Lately, since we've hit the two year old mark, things have felt more painful.
Braden tests me on a daily basis. All. Day. Long.
You want me to be nice to my sister? I'm going to push her over and run!
I'm suppose to eat this healthy food? But I just want m's and I'm going to scream about it!
Sit in time out? What? Are you kidding me? Why don't you make me?
Don't run into the street? I'm going to give the sneakiest look ever and go towards the street!
Really, the list goes on and on. And I suck at being consistent.
I'm trying, but I'm in no way perfect.
Anyway, back to how it's painful.
Clearly, there are times when he needs to be disciplined for the choices he is making.
Or we have to make him do something.
And gosh I hate that part of parenting.
It hurts my heart...
And it takes a whole lot of effort to not just give in and let him do what he wants.
Minus, letting him run into the street, obviously.

"Whoosh, whoosh!" he says, as he runs after a plane.

Just last night, however, we had a battle with him.
Actually, I let daddy have this battle because he's just better at it.
Braden didn't want to eat his healthy dinner and daddy told him he had to eat one more bite.
He made him stay at the table until he took that bite too!
It was painful for me, especially when his little eyes found mine and begged to be done.
He does that to me...
Looks at me with those sweet little eyes and I just want to give him the world.
I'm realizing though that the world I want to give him...
Is one where he is healthy and able to be the best him he can be.
It's hard and painful sometimes.
I think it's suppose to be because...
Through the pain we grow as parents and they grow as our children.

St. Patrick's Day

I don't normally post on weekends, but wanted to document the kids in their cute clothes.

I love Holidays with kiddos... even if it's just because I like to dress them up! ;)

We had a good day today, a great weekend really.

My husband didn't do anything else, but be at home with us.

It was nice because he is often so busy with work + school + flying.

It was nice to have him more to ourselves!
Today we...

Slept in a bit (and I got to nap)

Had starbucks (shocker)

Went to church (for the first time in forever)

Stopped by Target

Had culvers for dinner 

And had green ice cream (food coloring) just because we could! 

All small things that ended up making a great Sunday! 

Did you have a good weekend? A good St. Patrick's day? 

Braden's shirt is from Messy Kid Designs. I just love it. 

It's great quality and a simple craft! 

Something I will keep forever!