My Sin

I have a list of them and I'm sure there's more to be added.

The one I want to share with you today, is one that I've been wanting to write about.

But I've been scared to put it out there because it's something I'm upset with myself for doing. 

I judge other moms.

I know it's wrong and I don't want to do it.

It hurts my stomach to think about.

Often I find myself thinking, "I can't believe she is doing that!"
Or, "she should really do it that way!" 

Or, "That is not going to work! What is she thinking?" 

In someway I've bought into the lie that I do things better.

I've let my heart believe it, even though deep down I know that is so wrong and untrue! 

I am nowhere near the perfect mother. 

I still have flash backs to things I did wrong with Braden. 

I'm sure people thought I was crazy because I didn't know what I was doing with my first baby!
I still don't really know what I'm doing.

I'm just living life, loving my babies, and hoping that I don't mess them up too badly! ;)
More than that I'm trusting that Jesus will take care of them better than me! 

And I'm working on this judgement thing because I hate mommy guilt!
I hate beating myself up with it and I never want any other mama to feel it from me! 

I'm telling the devil that is a lie I will not believe because I have no right to judge!

But mostly because us mamas, we all need a little help and a lot of Jesus! 

She's a Pro!

Sitting up like a big girl! So happy too! 

"Must focus, most focus!" 

=)

"What is that I hear?" 

"Oh, it's Dad! Hey Dad! I'm glad to see you!" 

Dear Jesus

Being a parent is hard. It's hard to constantly have to give so much of yourself.

To put away what you want and do what needs to be done for your children. 

There is no one that knows this better than You. 

For You, were the one who gave up Your son for all of Your children. 

That's a beautiful thing and that is what parenting is meant to be...beautiful. 

At it's core, it is the most beautiful thing, but at it's surface, not always.

At the surface there are such hard moments, frustrations. 

That's where I'm at right now, lacking so much in parenting. 

So, I'm coming to You Jesus because You're the only one who I can fully depend on.

You're the only one who knows my heart and knows what needs to change.

Change my heart, Oh Lord. 

Give me patience, love, understanding, kindness, grace... to give to my children. 

It is what they need. It is what I need. 

Fill me with those things Lord.

Amen.